Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, my husband warned me we had a yellowjacket swarm move into our basement. He wasn't kidding. I'm phobic after I was swarmed as a kid, I'm watching our bug zapper literally smoke with how many it's killing, and my can of wasp spray seems woefully insufficient. They can have the house! FML
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Top comments
Kiki242 19
Suit up and get those bastards.
ArmadilloW 6
you make them sound like evil genius', also I hope your stings get better, try holding some folded kitchen towel soaked in cold water on them.
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Comments (125)
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Next time don't bee so stingy and hire someone to mow for you, then you can relax and hive a nice day. I would have swarm my ass off if those little buggers tried to attack me, that sounds painful.
the_enigma1019 1
Oh they do know, and they are coming for you, and then for the world...... I should stop watching cheesy monster movie shouldn't I?
lilportillo 0
No Emotion -____-
jwbfml 11
Just let the mower run out of gas and stop on its own.
perdix 31
'cause hornets hate to see gasoline get wasted, I guess?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Damn hippies.
loopsy_fml 14
God damn hippies! But it's ok, cuz Cartman has a plan to kill them all!
Hamz1989 13
Go to home depot and buy the hornet killing spray that shots up to a distance of 27 ft so you don't have to be in contact with them. I wish you all the best and good luck killing these quitters.
iTsbSkuLLy 8
..... Dude, trust me. They know.
Eaglestrike117 29
What is this, a Michael Crichton book?
Jaxx66 21
No!!! No!!! 'Prey' scared the shit out of me. *goes to corner with plushy and sucks on thumb* Nano-bots.... Evil. >_
honeybadgerDG2S 2
Don't most mowers have a dead man lever, so if you trip going up a hill the mower won't slide back into you. Or did you zip tie yours?
meade34 2
I was hoping someone would say this. Has no one ever mowed a lawn with a push mower before? Or am I asking the wrong generation?
PowerPanda_fml 3
Actualy I have a push mower with a deadman a lever on it, when you let go of it the engine cuts off.
Posthuman 26
Now is your chance! Use your powers of hypnotism and take control of them! Use them to conquer the world! Wait that doesn't work...
loopsy_fml 14
It doesn't work! What?! Awwww man!!!! I had a whole plan that consisted of bears, fish, a stuffed animal, a blanket, and hypnosis to take over the world!!!!! I will make it work! I will!!!!!
Phishhed44 2
Try a wet teabag on the stings, and a shoulder launched mini nuke for the nest like on Starship Troopers? ;D