Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML
Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML
Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML
Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML
Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML
Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
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Top comments
xAkonz 10
Well good morning to you too.
Smashhoof 15
Sir doesn't exactly equate to old...
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Comments (76)
kpc2424 13
I'd of kicked him out saying, "well then, you don't belong here in a 55+ community"
perdix 31
That's odd. I am that ******* old and I always refer to males over about 18 whose name I don't know (or I forgot) as "sir." I wish I was cool enough to call them "chief," "brother," "friend," "Mac," "boss," "pal," or "buddy," and sound natural saying that.
bigbob92 6
It's awesome when people get old enough to stop caring what other people think.
XxcaitanatorXx 12
woah that was unexpected
morngo 8
Why is it that old people get cranky in their age
bioss89 16
Because it's fun, now shut the hell up! :D
dakotahulsey 15
Lol you shoulda took it as a joke. Just cuz he's blunt don't mean he's trying to a dick. Old people are the mean kind of funny.
yeongji 31
Don't let it get to you. There are seniors out there who do not like to admit they are (getting) old. Who can blame them though? Nobody likes to admit that they are aging as time goes on. It is bound to happen again sometime in the near future, so the next time it happens, do not feel bad about it.
sugarbear0727 19
I get that all the time at work. They don't like being reminded of their age.
Quiet_one 22
I call most people sir and ma'am when I'm at work, even when they're obviously pretty close to my own age (I'm in my 20s). When I use it it's a sign of respect, not "you're so freaking old!" Pool guy needs to lighten up.
worldclassrager 41
Well it's obvious you live in the north...but that still is proper modesty...keep it up...unless you get this every time...