Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
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Top comments
illusionay 10
Maybe you shouldn't be near a stapler for a while....
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a great comedy act. Here's your stage name: Jean Stapleton
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Comments (13)
jeffprobs 29
Remember when I stapled my finger, don't let me use it. I just took it, put it to my finger like this and...****