Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
beerab 0
That's just MEAN on your part.
mardigrasqueen 0
You are a pompous bastard. You deserved a knife, not a pencil.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (813)
SpitFyre 0
You earned this one all the way, you dick.
Brooklynxman 0
Go die in a fire.
theanonimouse 0
second'd
cascadia 0
gosh, you are really a very mean person! (or at least your behavior is very mean, you may be a very nice person, jsut acting like an asshole for a short time) i hope you do not have children!!! now that would be a travesty,,,, for them to learn their behavior from you. your behavior represents the basic problem with disharmony here in this world.
Jazzywrites007 2
Lots of Trouble with the Homeless these days, huh? http://www.fmylife.com/money/4029321 http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2799622 http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2695663 http://www.fmylife.com/money/779531
rayyli 0
OP, you're an asshole. Have fun plucking out the splinters from your skin.
kuntageous 0
Bitch. Ydi
manoverboard 0
You are a very terrible person. Mostly because you probably broke that poor man's only pencil.
dbjb40 0
YDI for being an asshole
ico2 2
I'd have stabbed you in the face. not just if i was the guy, but also if I just happened to be passing by!
Kira_fml 0
you are a callous ass. you're lucky that's all you had happen to you.