Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
gntfmlingnow 12
See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.
DKjazz 20
Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.
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Comments (175)
totallyepicchick 0
Ur girlfriend sounds awesome! If I was a lesbian I'd **** her twice on a Monday :D
shuoq76 10
That's probably the most adorable FML evar ur girlfriend sounds awesome xD
CruelGirl07 5
I really thought I was the only one who did this! I do this to my husband all the time. I have to show him the FML! :)
mexicoman101 6
Your girlfriend is awesome. XD
meggieeee51 9
You have a pretty awesome girlfriend lol
Sweet_Ems 5
Hahaha!!!
dselvagn 3
The ****?
astronobob 0
Your girlfriend is awesome. Be happy she is playful and likes you.
snowman6 4
Oh yeah. Your life is so rough…
flashback.miss 28
This should be illustrated. XD