Today, while I have never been able to say my dog ate my homework, I do get to call several people and tell them my dog ate my wallet. He even chewed up my driver's license. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "The gecko ate my pen drive." FML
Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML
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Top comments
DeadxManxWalking 27
bring him him in the car and hold him up whenever an officer asks for your license
emeraldarcher74 30
I laughed so hard I think I just puked up a wallet.
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Comments (20)
Incognico 22
It is time for the dog whisperer..
poisonedpeanuts 22
I swear to god Michiganders have the worst luck
RubeusSwagrid 11
Life's a bitch. Wait, you didn't name her that?
GhostFox 34
We had a dog that ate three $100 bills, when I was very little. Don't remember what we did about the money, but we just took extra care to keep money and important documents out of his reach from then on.
sunflower_seal 17
Go online request a new one and get a paper copy at the dmv
ssnow_fml 20
Close enough
_flower_child_ 9
I've had to explain to a teacher my cat chewed on my hw. I can't imagine having an animal eat my license.