Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
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Top comments
midget_chinese 0
bah, the profiling system gets on my nerves :P
CassT 0
If it was a man, you could've said, "Because I needed to make room for my tampons."
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Comments (186)
TheFifthWitness 0
Really? You're posting an FML that your bag got searched in airport security? What did you expect to happen, them to give you a back massage and a playful smack on the ass?
Major_General 10
My response: you unpack it, you pack it.
Sanrio90 8
Typical ageism. I understand the need for security in airports despite what a pain in the ass it is, but this lady sounds like an ageist bitch who assumes anyone under 20 must be a criminal or a threat. Prejudice seems to be OK in these settings, pathetic.
fmljw 2
wow what a pain in the neck. and airlines wonder why they are going bankrupt..
sthanu150 0
i like how you think that folding clothes smaller makes more space somehow. is that like slicing a pizza into 20 slices makes more pizza than slicing it into 6 pieces?
medfly 2
This isn't exactly the same and you know it. When packaging a suitcase, there are often a lot of gaps between the clothes which can be used.
Pwibble 2
Pre-plane security is kinda pointless... If I was a terrorist I'd just blow up the airport :)
Tiefling_Tasha 0
My last airplane trip, I had vacuum-packed puffier things, and rolled up smaller things and either packed them in sandwich bags or wrapped elastic bands around them. (When i travel i bring old stuff that i can throw away before going home). I put all my toiletries in clear sandwich bags for convenience, and managed to fit it all on a carry-on. Everything was clearly labeled with black sharpie to make re-packing easy, along with some extra vacuum packs and my compact handheld vacuum sealer. My bag got searched and I wasn't really all that inconvenienced because i got to the airport early. The guard was pissed that he DIDN'T find anything illegal in there. He was probably thinking that his life was effed.
Diphenyl 0
I don't go into as much detail as labeling everything I pack, but I pack really simply and conveniently, such as yourself. It just makes it easier. Thus I don't get all the bitchin' and moanin' that comes from people who would rather lament about their "rights" than just face what's already been written in the rules, and find ways to make it easier for themselves. I don't think of aeroport security a hassle at all.
cxal_fml 0
I've been selected for the 100 percent entirely random screening every time I flew in the past 5 years - and thats in four different countries. I don't think its 100 percent random because what are the odds that airport staff in all of those countries would single me out, without exception. The lady/man smiles and checks peoples tickets, comes to me, glances at me frowns, and announces I've been selected. If I had a name that wasn't so unique I could understand that I was getting mixed up with a terrorist, but according to google search, there is only one of me, and I'm not a terrorist
joerios12 2
wow i would have told her bitch now u fold and put it all back
Lubosh 0
WTF are those TSA Nazis looking for contraband. Weapon all right but everything else is unwarranted search and seizure. Kill this government.