Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Today, I was working as a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting thirty something guy got on board with two huge bags. Worried, I kept an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
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Top comments
Doydle 0
Now, what did you learn? ;)
adelaide_evening 0
Hahahaha, that is hilarious. I agree with everybody else that it is a dumb thing to do, but I myself am fairly sarcastic and probably would've said it before I realized the repercussions that came along with it too.
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Comments (111)
Doydle 0
Now, what did you learn? ;)
cradle6 13
That OP could have answered snarkier. Customs: "Did you pack your own bags?" -"No sir, Allah packed my bags."
WordAficionada 19
I just find comments like this very islamaphobic.
ColonelCusswords 24
That the op is a dumbass
adelaide_evening 0
Hahahaha, that is hilarious. I agree with everybody else that it is a dumb thing to do, but I myself am fairly sarcastic and probably would've said it before I realized the repercussions that came along with it too.
CestMoi_fml 0
Dumbass
monkji10 0
agreed
laurarogusz 0
This I think is hilarious! I am in the Marine Corps and in 2007 I was in Iraq (yes for the whole year) well for two weeks out of that year I was able to come home to see my family and while I was at the airport getting ready to fly back to Iraq the security stopped me to search me, I was already running late because it took the check in desk like 45 hours (not literally) to give passes to my family so they could come to my gate... I had my United States Marine Corps ******* uniform on and they stopped me for a "random" search, I was pissed and I let them have it! So anyway, knowing myself and how irritated I am by the pointless security and customs I would probably have made some sarcastic comment to them too!!! Definitely hilarious!
WordAficionada 19
So? Just because you're a marine doesn't mean you should be excused from being searched; or is that only for the Muslims in the airport...
huriyah 3
Aren't you out of regs by wearing your cammies at the airport?
InfiniteSecret 20
You sound very full of yourself.
akidnamedandy 0
LOLZ
l33tm0nk3y 0
...It's pretty common knowledge that you don't joke about stuff like that at security checkpoints...
judeneon 0
yeah, even if they know you're joking, they have the POWER TO SEARCH YOUR ASS. Just be polite.
DalekBubbles 18
Quite literally.
pewp 5
wow, that was dumb.
Vincenzo_fml 1
Customs officers can do damn near anything if they feel it's warranted, if you're driving a car across the border, they can tear apart your car to search it for drugs or anything else they don't want in the country, and no, they are not required to put it back together for you or replace anything that was damaged in he process.
SookyTurner 4
Im gunna become a customs officer
livingdeadgirl 0
You deserved that one, but that's funny as ****.