Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
midget_chinese 0
bah, the profiling system gets on my nerves :P
CassT 0
If it was a man, you could've said, "Because I needed to make room for my tampons."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (186)
SuperSpore 0
Homemade grenades?!
BillyJoe88 0
If it was a TSA agent they really shouldn't be searching your bag for drugs or illegal items. They are really only supposed to check for items not allowed on the plane like bombs and bottles of water....the fact that they would go out of their way to search for "illegal" items and not "prohibited" items is stupid and borderline illegal....
suhjinko2 0
Yea... that's customs' job, which you wouldn't have to deal with if you were on a domestic flight.
SomeGuy1234 0
Guh... I hate airport security, it was bad before 9/11 now it's just ridiculous. If we want to save some money in the budget the TSA could go tomorrow and noone would care or notice.
crampy 0
Whenever I've had to have my carry on searched, they unpack everything, but always pack it back up too. no big deal. the only way it would be an FYL is if it took so long you were late for your flight, which is why you always get to the airport SUPER EARLY!!!
janeasutengirl 0
the terrorists don't win when we check peoples luggae, they win when they get weapons on to a plane again and fly it in to another building.
AtLeastImHigh 0
Age discrimination lawsuit! Sue the sshhhhhhit out of her for saying 'teen' things! Airport security stopped me for my hookah, I just told them what it was and started up a conversation with the guy. He asked if it was a bomb, i told him no it's a legal smoking device and he said cool go on through. Glad I didn't get searched, would've sucked to lose my piece i had hidden :P
f_u_u_f_f 0
If you read the guidelines, they recommend having things packed neatly and such. That means that clothes should be layed flat, not rolled strangely. Better to err on the side of having too much room in your bags than to buy things on your trip and run out of space.
anjay67 0
what the ****? which airport was this? Houston's Bush airport just lets people go about their business these days there's barely any hassle with security...... but that really does suck =/ sorry OP
Chocoholic17 0
Rolling actually takes up more space, but that's besides the point. I think the biggest part of the FML is that the airport security never packs it back in again. You have to do it there, at a small table where the security people are probably making you hurry on out of there.
shirvon100 0
lol thts hilarious