Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, some jackass spider decided to lay eggs behind my wall. No matter how many I kill, I always wake up to multiple baby spiders on my ceiling. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
Today, while barbecuing, I noticed a small black baby spider crawling on my shirt. Then I felt another one crawling on the back of my neck. I still don't know if there were more than two baby spiders on me. FML
Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that if you leave your sheets on the washing line too long, spiders will go and make their new home in them. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Arachnophobia. That truly sucks op. Time to get the flamethrowers and poison grenades.
Becca_Bear_98 19
I would've RonWeasly'd that, ran, tripped, and managed to break my arm. Butterflies, why couldn't it have been butterflies?!
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Comments (114)
UC_jrmnts 15
I would've stopped, dropped and rolled while panicking. Then I would of left dramatized... And never speak of it again.
redpanda39 10
Okay, I hate to be a grammar nazi here, but...*would have and *traumatized.
kimg0885 23
They could be like Charlotte from the book!
niftyhasdelulz 12
I cried out of fear at the end of that movie.
Callmeseansaur 9
Congratulations! You're a spider mother now, you should raise them as your own.
Katthebamf 29
That's a whole lot of nope with a side of nope!!
MrDonSalvetti 27
At least you noticed the eggs before they hatched. It could have been worse. Like they hatched without you realizing it and they moved in and under your clothes... Just thinking about it scares the shit out of me... O.o
mrd1997 19
Oh my lord, this makes me want to replace my skin for new skin, as gross as that may sound. I have arachnophobia and if that happened to me, I would be ripping my clothes off, probably would shit myself, and have a heart attack all at the same time, if that is even possible.
afallingstar 22
Same here. That and the word Flamethrower comes to mind.
The_Real_MVP 2
(Spiderman theme song starts playing)
LumpyUnicorn 9
I advise you to burn down your house, burn the ashes, and then move into the next universe... your family will have to understand.
candymonster191 16
Commence screaming, crying, ripping off your shirt and setting it on fire or plunging it into a sink full of water!
angelofsaturn 23
Oh my ******* God. That is one of my biggest nightmares. Shit if i could drink to erase both our memories of this i would but i'll definitely knock back a few for us in march.