Today, my wife admitted that she purposefully starts fights with me purely because she enjoys arguing and seeing me flustered. Don't marry a lawyer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized why my wife starts so many arguments lately. I vent by angry-cleaning. She pisses me off on purpose so she doesn't have to do any chores. FML
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, my husband has a terrible temper and starts screaming for everything. Consequently, I've learnt to deflect and shift blame to save myself. He says he flies off the handle because I shift blame, while I do it to avoid being verbally abused. Made for each other much? FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML
Today, my wife has been grumpy all day, because she decided to get herself worked up over an argument we had and then peacefully settled three months ago. Like she suddenly gets to reopen the argument for no reason. I’m refusing to continue the argument on principle, hence her grumpiness. FML
Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Or a vegan. Or a religious nut. Or a YouTube/Social Media user. Or a woman. Or a man. Or anyone, really. And if anyone reading this tries to argue with me, know that my rebuttal is always delivered by my fists.
engineerosaurus 26
Think this is less about “lawyer” and more about “psychopath”.
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Comments (24)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I think it's time to reconsider this marriage. It's it were playful arguing, that's one thing, but it doesn't sound like that based on what I'm reading.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Or a vegan. Or a religious nut. Or a YouTube/Social Media user. Or a woman. Or a man. Or anyone, really. And if anyone reading this tries to argue with me, know that my rebuttal is always delivered by my fists.
engineerosaurus 26
Think this is less about “lawyer” and more about “psychopath”.
acmariner99 25
Is there a difference?
Emma Marshall 19
Hardly a psychopath....
acmariner99 25
I would argue that constitutes abuse
MrCT 22
Introduce her to your Lawyer....
tranced_ 45
Who knows, they might hit it off !
tranced_ 45
Lawyers these days are so full of attitude and overconfidence!! It's ridiculous! Like the news I read abt this lawyer who threatened to deport the workers out of America who didn't speak to him in English.. That shows how unsatisfied they really are from their lives and it's a disgrace to the profession.
Donut_Wizard 23
Divorce attorney I choose you!
RichardPencil 32
I was with a woman who would pick fights with me because when I get angry, apparently my nostrils flare, and she thought that was sexy.
kirby1964 20
It take two to have a fight. Next time she starts something, just say the topic is not one your interested in, or agree with her, you say you understand her point of view. See what happens.
RedWolf16 21
Well, at least I have a new name for her: Sadist.