Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML
Today, I slipped on a wet floor in the grocery store. Instead of falling gracefully or quickly, I windmilled my arms for a few seconds while making direct eye contact with a toddler who looked genuinely impressed. I didn’t fall, but still… FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, I accidentally slipped on a wet floor at my local mall after copious amounts of snow. There was no sign. I accidentally hit a lady trying to help me when falling backwards and gave her a bloody nose. I am now banned from the mall for two weeks and told I was lucky she didn’t press charges. FML
Today, I slipped on a small wet patch of floor in the grocery store and fell flat on my back, bringing my half-full shopping cart down with me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
He probably meant no harm. Just tell him Santa doesn't exist and run away.
DocBastard 40
As the parent of a five-year old, I can tell you that most of them don't know right from wrong. It sounds like a simple accident (we let our daughter push her brother sometimes, but only under strict supervision), so blaming the child here or expecting an apology is just wrong. Blaming the parents, however is justified. And by "blaming" I mean cursing them out for not watching their kid, and coincidentally teaching the kid some colourful new 4-letter words that they'll be repeating for months.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (45)
carlyemarshall 5
Little kids these days...
KBear3109 29
When I was 5 months pregnant with my oldest, a teenage girl walking behind me rammed me with her cart. She sprained my ankle and I almost landed on my belly. I also had a little boy try to push my stroller over in an almost empty double-wide aisle because he just had to walk right where I was standing and he wasn't even looking at anything! He also tipped over my soda. I really don't like other people's children...
ph8eyerucker 3
I bet u that kid and his parents r white. White folks have no manners. That why this country is in the shit. White people killing spree and shit
1234Murphdog 2
bad parenting i'll say
burritosrgood 12
My cousin is just like that and I have a problem with people like that I know they don't know better, but I still have a PROBLEM with them.