Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML
Today, I slipped on a wet floor in the grocery store. Instead of falling gracefully or quickly, I windmilled my arms for a few seconds while making direct eye contact with a toddler who looked genuinely impressed. I didn’t fall, but still… FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, I accidentally slipped on a wet floor at my local mall after copious amounts of snow. There was no sign. I accidentally hit a lady trying to help me when falling backwards and gave her a bloody nose. I am now banned from the mall for two weeks and told I was lucky she didn’t press charges. FML
Today, I slipped on a small wet patch of floor in the grocery store and fell flat on my back, bringing my half-full shopping cart down with me. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
He probably meant no harm. Just tell him Santa doesn't exist and run away.
DocBastard 40
As the parent of a five-year old, I can tell you that most of them don't know right from wrong. It sounds like a simple accident (we let our daughter push her brother sometimes, but only under strict supervision), so blaming the child here or expecting an apology is just wrong. Blaming the parents, however is justified. And by "blaming" I mean cursing them out for not watching their kid, and coincidentally teaching the kid some colourful new 4-letter words that they'll be repeating for months.
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Comments (45)
ICastillo 25
How the hell do you get punked by a 5 year old and want an apology?
IIFenix 3
21- so you are saying if some kid did you wrong you wouldn't want the parent to at least say they are sorry for their child's behavior?
ICastillo 25
He just kid man, he just playing having fun. everybody's been there
IIFenix 3
So your saying that if some little kid was having fun by kicking you that you wouldn't complain or want them to at least say sorry?
ICastillo 25
Na true man that is over bored. You win this one my friend haha.
bettyc4 26
Wasn't the kids fault. It was Gravity my friend.
perdix 31
You can imagine that a 5-year-old who has a baby would be a pretty nasty, bitter person. The kid has ruined her whole kindergarten experience. Babies shouldn't have babies!
Mommyof2_91 10
Any mother can be presumptuous, not just American ones. I was also wondering where the mother was, if the kid looked no older than 5 why would she let him go off alone? And if she was there she should have made him apologize so he could learn what's proper. Either way, there's a problem there.
anonymissx 5
A child no older than five pushing another child... Sounds safe. :-/
missalkali 8
I don't see anything about there being another child in the stroller... could very well be the 5 year old's stroller that they were no longer sitting in
IIFenix 3
Sorry 27 but sadly that is what passes as proper now.....today's society is ******...
sweetcatastroph3 9
i'm a nanny and i've watched 5 year olds before. they know much more than most parents give them credit for. but, as usual, anytime the kid does something wrong - and the kid KNOWS it's wrong - they just shrug and say "it's a 5 year old, they don't know any better". i'm the one who pretty much raise the kids and teach them manners, while the parents just spoil them. at the end of the day, the kids cry when i'm leaving, not the parents, because they feel that the one who loves the most is the one who teaches them what's right or wrong. kids need discipline, and they take that as love too. giving love isn't just spoiling them.
IIFenix 3
Not gonna lie you sound like an amazing nanny :)
mzkay7 1
I agree with you 100% my 3 year old son always says excuse me , apologizes, cleans up after himself without being told, not saying my son is perfect but it's really on the parenting skills and things you teach your young ones how they will most likely turn out
IIFenix 3
Good parenting goes a long way.
sweetcatastroph3 9
thank you, #33! i really do try, i can't stand nannies (and parents too!) that stay on their phone all day while the kids do whatever they think it's right. those kids are the future of the world, it would be nice if they could use simple manners rules.
MissNicky_fml 0
Ok I'm sorry you fell, but about the apolgy part... the kid is little he probably didnt know better, sorry. But you can blame the parents.
Unbweavable 17
Dude it's a kid. Suck it up
SS 31
rookie error by the kid. I was once going up a t-bar and some really slow kid just snow-ploughed into me, and then just snow-ploughed off (no apology). By really slow I mean slower than slow walking. I know how you feel, fyl.