Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML
Today, I slipped on a wet floor in the grocery store. Instead of falling gracefully or quickly, I windmilled my arms for a few seconds while making direct eye contact with a toddler who looked genuinely impressed. I didn’t fall, but still… FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, I accidentally slipped on a wet floor at my local mall after copious amounts of snow. There was no sign. I accidentally hit a lady trying to help me when falling backwards and gave her a bloody nose. I am now banned from the mall for two weeks and told I was lucky she didn’t press charges. FML
Today, I slipped on a small wet patch of floor in the grocery store and fell flat on my back, bringing my half-full shopping cart down with me. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
He probably meant no harm. Just tell him Santa doesn't exist and run away.
DocBastard 40
As the parent of a five-year old, I can tell you that most of them don't know right from wrong. It sounds like a simple accident (we let our daughter push her brother sometimes, but only under strict supervision), so blaming the child here or expecting an apology is just wrong. Blaming the parents, however is justified. And by "blaming" I mean cursing them out for not watching their kid, and coincidentally teaching the kid some colourful new 4-letter words that they'll be repeating for months.
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Comments (45)
I_Punch_Babies 7
kids can be so inconsiderate...
wallandpiece 16
Should have drop kicked the bastard.
ladyLALAA 29
Then run him over with the stroller, defeated by his weapon of choice!
SkoomaKi 28
Wallandpiece - I laughed way to hard at your comment...
wallandpiece 16
I'm glad I was of assistance.
Alwayspullout 7
It's a ******* 5 year old, what did you expect?
Purplefluff 6
OP s waiting for an apology from a five year old and it only seems weird to me?
beccaishereyay 11
Is anyone else wondering where the parents are? They should've been the ones to apologize.
NickPaulson 6
Says "I punch babies"
SkoomaKi 28
He probably meant no harm. Just tell him Santa doesn't exist and run away.
chokefrantic 9
Ultimate payback!
PlastikSeraph 2
WHAT THE **** DO YOU MEAN SANTA DOESN'T EXIST?!?!?!
lolfood 24
D: SANTA DOESN'T EXIST?!?!?!!
Eiregal2 10
you lie YOU LIIIIIEEEEE!!! *Weeps in corner*
1PaulyD 9
Only around this time of year yo!
KingMykonos 4
Some parents really need to wake up and learn to watch their kids.
egc573 40
Considering how incredibly presumptuous some American mothers can be, she probably wouldn't have been much help. If anything, she would have just accused the OP of being a pervert or something for even being near the brat.
snator 0
The kid is either rotten to the bone or his mother was definitly not watching.
eccentrix 12
What an evil 5 year-old, not apologizing for an accident!
ladyLALAA 29
Haven't you seen There's Something About Kevin?
sweetcatastroph3 9
you're kidding me, right? you're probably the parent that lets the kid run the household. then, 5 years later, you're trying to be on that stupid show super nanny because "i just don't understand what went wrong and why my kids have no manners and won't listen to a word i say". it was, indeed, an accident. but when you mistakenly do something, like spill water on someone, for example, don't you apologize? or do you always act like a spoiled brat, just like that 5 year old?
IHaveThePower 18
56, before 5 or so they're still just beyond toddler range. They don't really understand how apologies work in the first place. You can get them to parrot 'sorry', but it doesn't really affect anything later on except reflexive habits, not real apologizing. The *mom* should have apologized, but a kid who's kind of just figuring out that if you whack into someone it hurts isn't gonna be great at that, and that's normal. They're not adults yet, don't freak out when they don't behave like them.
egc573 40
No apology is no surprise. As Louis CK once said, children that young completely lack courtesy. Of course, if you were expecting an apology from the mother, consider that this is a woman who lets a 5-ish year-old push a stroller around. If that's not blatant carelessness, I don't know what is.
peachesncreem 21
My niece just turned 4. She's very courteous. We drill it into her to say please, thank you, excuse me etc. You have to start developing their manners at a young age.
missalkali 8
a five year old pushing a stroller is blatant carelessness? since when? I've seen it a hundred times!! the kid is in the stroller and then insists that they want to walk and then proceed to insist on pushing the stroller. and I've seen kids pushing a stroller with a child inside as well, the mother supervises to make sure nothing goes wrong. very simple. and very not careless if you ask me
ferrousWheel 6
just because it happens hundreds of times doesn't make it correct. By that logic, college students who cheat on exams and homework shouldn't be called dishonest because "it's happened hundreds of times". Your other point makes more sense, but if the mother was supervising, I don't think we would have gotten this FML, because a supervising mother would have likely apologized. I think that 9 was assuming that the mother wasn't watching her kid at all as this was happening, which (spoiler alert) is pretty damn careless
DocBastard 40
As the parent of a five-year old, I can tell you that most of them don't know right from wrong. It sounds like a simple accident (we let our daughter push her brother sometimes, but only under strict supervision), so blaming the child here or expecting an apology is just wrong. Blaming the parents, however is justified. And by "blaming" I mean cursing them out for not watching their kid, and coincidentally teaching the kid some colourful new 4-letter words that they'll be repeating for months.
Dracoboxer357 36
I mostly agree with you, Doc. My oldest is almost 5 himself, and he of course has lots to learn. :) For the most part, his manners are decent but that doesn't mean he always knows or understands when he's made a mistake. I also wouldn't blame a child nor expect an apology from one that young for accidentally clipping me with a cart or whatever. I would hope a parent was nearby as unsupervised children make me wonder about their safety in public and such. :p Call me paranoid, but I guess I've read too many child abduction and/or trauma stories. It's probably my biggest fear of that happening to my boys. :(
williamcarter93 13
they only won't know right from wrong if the parent doesn't teach it to them.
DocBastard 40
William - That's true, but it's a very long process teaching that.
Bekll 31
I once saw a documentary that showed the average kindergarten aged child stays away from hurt adults, but those with Williams Syndrome immediately go up to the hurt adult and ask if (s)he is okay. So OP, don't take it to heart that the child didn't apologize.
tony1891 22
I'd that was my child I'd beat his ass. hope you're not hurt too badly tho.
cosmosis 12
Beating your childs ass is wrong on many different levels. Gay Incest pedophile Not the right way to discipline your child if you intend to raise them into adulthood.
FranzFerdinand 18
Why would you beat a five-year-old for being… you know, five? I hope Child Services beats you for not watching your kid and then putting the blame on him.
Jasonf6 0
Parenting at its finest.
1234Murphdog 2
i agree
pdp_fml 21
That 5 year old should not have been pushing a stroller in the middle of a busy mall. The mother should have a least apologized to you and if she wasn't around supervising her kid, report her to child protective services in that state. I guarantee that she won't let that child out of her sight again.