Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, while I was at the gym, I saw a guy walk into the girls locker room. I was walking nearby so I said, "Hey man, that's the wrong one." Turns out it was just a very masculine-looking woman, with a very masculine haircut. FML
Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked, "Women's weights room." Oh. FML
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Top comments
supportcommand 17
Don't drop the soap in the shower.
walmartpaysme 15
Run, OP. Run fast.
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Comments (123)
pabst4america 1
So you get buttfucked by a large prison man. I see the opposite of an FML here
StanSmith2013 26
Just don't drop the soap or back away from the walls!!!
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
That's not random at all
pregnantpianist 2
Ask him if his prison name was Bubbles. Because everyone loves to blow Bubbles. XD
baronsmommy 14
Sounds like Damon from "Friday After Next" be careful lucky charms, he likes his fish wet & squirmy.
ObeyStudKing 4
He's just mind ******* you lol.
sincerelyjay 13
Time to save your ass, OP.
SApprentice 34
Become his friend. Make him your ally. You will need him one day.
bridgetv25 8
Well r u a girl or gal if ur a gal maybe e was tryn to impress ya
SApprentice 34
75- Your spelling and grammar abilities need work. Also, a girl and a gal are both feminine terms, so I'm confused about the point that you're trying to make.
PhishloverA 14
Get away while you can, just don't make it obvious that you're trying to get away!