Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, while I was at the gym, I saw a guy walk into the girls locker room. I was walking nearby so I said, "Hey man, that's the wrong one." Turns out it was just a very masculine-looking woman, with a very masculine haircut. FML
Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked, "Women's weights room." Oh. FML
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Top comments
supportcommand 17
Don't drop the soap in the shower.
walmartpaysme 15
Run, OP. Run fast.
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Comments (123)
perdix 31
Shower at home this time. For future trips to the gym, always carry a shiv.
agonydrum 7
Op can carve one with his pocket knife out of a toothbrush
Canchan 12
If he has a knife , why would he use a sharpened tooth brush ?
agonydrum 7
It was a joke and a reference to futurama
PrimeEvilTahir 24
... and a pack of cigarettes. I hear that's the currency in prison...
trippythehippy 6
Meh. He was just trying to psych you out. And apparently succeeded. And that's the reality
sharksfan48 13
Op you either stay and get beaten the shit out of, or you run the hell away with your face in the right place. I would choose the latter of the two.
Myo_fml 20
I think that the prisoner dude is the one that wants a good beatin' from OP.
arioch_fml 20
Well I guess you could technically call it a beating, but I don't think people normally call that kind of pounding a beat down. Lol
shawnaishere 14
Run then Go to another gym and maybe you can build enough muscle to face off with him.
gracehi 33
Why would he want to be reminded of prison??? O.o
TheDrifter 24
As other posters said, maybe he's lonely.
Enslaved 38
Institutionalized.
TheDrifter 24
You have a point. It's like when I try to let the cat outside. He just goes ballistic and runs back in.
Welshite 40
Your demonic kitty? Easy answer: he can't stand the light of day, vampire style.
gracehi 33
I've never been, but I would think that prison must be a pretty lonely place. The company there can't be pleasant.
agonydrum 7
Because he's a liar and he's trying to mess with op
mintcar 10
Sometimes you meet all kind of strange people at the gym, especially in the weight room.
duckyeah 6
Be careful where you leave your keys, OP! And don't use a bottom locker! You should probably switch to a different gym...
ohrlly7457 7
OP name says it all
aksweetheart 7
Or raped...
MrsAlexander83 10
I'm thinking you should report him and change gyms. It's not cool to make people feel like that when THEY spend the money to go there and it's essentially harassment! Good luck and I hope you kicked him in the nuts and ran!