Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML
Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML
Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML
Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
That's what you get for being an obnoxious ass.
AndreaKina 0
pschh you totally deserved that, I feel bad for the girl
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (250)
Leaveittosteven 0
Haha. You need your eyes checked if you think you can play football without discerning obvious details 50 yards away.
siriuslee 0
bus barn? he sounds like he might be from west virginia, no wonder he was checking out his sister!
bpchamp123 0
#43 hahahahah. too true. if you find your sister attractive, you might need some help. even if it was on accident.
Logica42 0
Uh...has anybody said "wincest is best" yet? /shrugs Anyway, YDI.
regalarius 0
YDI for being a jackass, no woman should put up with that. I don't understand guys who have that reaction..."Damn, there's a cute girl!" "Hey, I've got an idea -- let's see who can piss her off the most!" "Yeah, there's no way she'll not want us in her pants then!"
Suiaerl 0
What....that doesn't work! ****....back to the drawing board....why is this "dating" thing so complicated I don't get it...people like to feel respected and wanted? SHIT that's hard man :(. Can you teach me the ways (no I am not the OP, merely enjoying mocking) =P.
Vasir 2
And this is why you're a tool.
MissMani 0
Incest is wincest! :D ...No not really.
tvradar 0
nasty
aback 5
Hey-! You've got the home court advantage!
Suiaerl 0
damn right. We all know that family knows best! In EVERY way ;).
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
YDI for being an obnoxious pig. I hate men like that, they have absolutely no respect for women. if I was your sister, I would've flipped you all off. -.-"
vt007 0
lol