Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
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Top comments
CableFrog 3
Pussyblocked.
snafu57 1
he loves pussy?
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Comments (96)
SeximusPrime 0
Guess we know which pussy he prefers more.
aravol 0
If the cat lives outdoors, s/he probably gets more action, fyi
natedog12 0
someone posted an fml exactly like this like two days ago. you probably copied it stupid.
kaleid0scopeEyes 0
I think its because the people who spend all day on FML are really lame, and mod all these shitty FML's. I looked at the "Moderate the FML" part and there are actually some really good ones that will never get through because the losers who clog the comment sections with talk about "LOLZ SAMMICHEZ" think FML's about cats are the most hilarious things ever.
hotdogger789 0
#30 i was thinking the same thing!
Murka 0
CATS ARE AWESOME. You deserved it. Cats know what they are doing. =P
darkmis1 18
My boyfriends cat always leaves as soon as we start.
killurbeer 0
hmmm could have swore, i heard this story yesterday hmmmm but nice that you changed it up a bit
YOULIVETODIE 0
Does anyone notice this is a repeat of an FML from a few days ago? Except it was from a guy's perspective, Wow..
urbaddayismylol 0
**** BLOCK
kyle1991 0
less of a **** block and more of a pussy block
_Miaow_ 0
Would you prefer to keep going with a cat on you?? cutting it a little fine there...