Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CableFrog 3
Pussyblocked.
snafu57 1
he loves pussy?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
deprived13 3
i guess theres only one p*ssy allowed in that bed, and its obviously not yours!
Chigagigaroo 0
Throw the cat out of the room and finish what you started.
drdingus 27
ouch
myalorrxo 0
wow talk about a **** block..
desertpunk75 11
He didn't want to put it in the wrong pussy.
Ehko 6
I agree with him.
jarockstar27 10
The animals dont care! My dog will just walk in and then walk out again. They are not afraid to do it in front of us thats for sure! Lol
Fawkmylyfe 6
He just likes to watch.
TogeBara 12
To any couple trying to get intimate, the place that you two sleep together should be just for you two. Only photos of the two of you and only warm romantic furniture. This will increase your bond and keep outside distractions like the pets or children out of the way when the need arises. Who would want to be intimate with their spouse and look up to see a photo of their child or other family members? Very few people would. Shut the door next time.
OwenBicker 14
Why would you want to keep going with a cat there...?