Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML
Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML
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Top comments
haileyrows 26
Unfortunately, that's not necessarily true because most rapists are after a feeling of power, not a gratifying sexual experience. But I suppose if Grandma is going to insult you at least she tried to put a positive spin on it!
WCARlover 35
Grandmas say the darnedest things
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Comments (65)
blacklightening 11
avoid your grandmother she's a jersey
BloodyGlass 10
Bitch slap her. I know I'm a horrible person for thinking that, but boy what kind of bullshit was that to say?
themajesticfox 0
take it in the positive way, sorta like the quote 'skinny people are hard to kidnap, stay safe, eat cake'