Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
At least he wasn't picking his butt
YoshiTimex3 0
i never knew boogers are crunchy . though one time my brother had a booger in his finger nails & decided to flick it .. i was staring at him w/ my mouth open ... guess where it went ?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
nick_beresho 0
Ew. Who knows where his fingers have been all day...they've probably touched worse things than the inside of his nose. You're pretty much sucking on everything your boyfriend touched that day. Ydi. For trying to be sexy by sucking on his fingers. In reality, that's extremely unsanitary
fcukb0o 0
sucking your bfs finger? reminds me of hilary duffs reach out video LOL!
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for thinking you were sucking on Clay Aiken's fingers.
gummibehrs 4
Enough with the Clay Aiken crap. It's not funny.
TheHeroOfTime 0
YDI for being black
prshusl0l 0
YDI
f_alltheirlives 3
You stole his treasure? GIVE HIM BACKSIES HIS BUGG-ARRRR
naja_12168 3
I almost threw up reading this. I would have vomited for two days straight after that. How did you not dump him after that?
soulwarrior 0
You are so disgusting! You *****, you bitch!
Foxy_lover 0
Yes, she's a ***** because she was trying to be sexy for her boyfriend. I'm guessing you're not trying to be sexy for your boyfriend because with that attitude, I doubt a guy would touch you with a ******* barge pole. It's not the OP's fault for having a slightly "immature" boyfriend, so stop being so over dramatic.
gummibehrs 4
How the hell is she a ***** or a bitch? Messing around with your boyfriend makes you slutty? And what exactly qualified her for the term "bitch"? Good lord, grow up and try to not seem like such a prepubescent moron.
wakawakawaka_fml 0
"Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriend's fingers." Oh, how sexy..
lulz123 0
oh then you probably dont want to suck on my fingers