Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to make cookies, the box said mix by hand so I literally used my hands. Not a fork or anything. My step-mom walked in and laughed at me. FML
Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, I told my crush I’d bring homemade cookies. The batch burned so badly the smoke alarm screamed. In desperation, I bought store cookies, put them on a tray, and claimed them as mine. My crush said, “These taste store-bought.” I panicked and confessed. FML
Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML
Today, to treat the family, I cooked something nice in appreciation for sticking it out over the past few tough months. Unfortunately, I chose this one day to not wear my oven mitts when carrying the food to the table, spilling the food all over the carpeted floor. FML
Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
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Top comments
Yarrachel 16
Wow, what a bitch, you should actually poison her next time.
Guuurlplease 0
shank her ass
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Comments (127)
misfitSuperStar 0
Learn to cook better, but your stepmom could still have been more appreciative of the effort !!
dontgiveacrap 0
Why? When the end result of the effort was horrible. That like having kids play a Baseball Game where "everybody is a winner" just for participating. Results matter.
misfitSuperStar 0
Feelings matter WAYYYY more than 'results'!! Poor op!!
SeanFredrick 3
It's not a nice gesture if it makes you sick. The op should have been more careful.
The_good_times 0
Oh come on, how bad could they have been? unless the op dropped some dead rats in there the cookies couldn't have been THAT terrible so that the step mom would be justified in reacting like a total bitch.
SeanFredrick 3
she was being honest. maybe she actually did think it was a prank?
Mirorbo 27
Fuhohohoho... Another step-parent making a bad name for step-parents everywhere. At least now you know not to ever cook for her again. Or be nice for that matter!~
The_Creeper_fml 8
Make sure to put in rabbit crap instead of chocolate chips next time.
Schizomaniac 24
SeanFrederick-How does OP deserve it? The stepmom didn't have to be a bitch about it. It was a nice gesture.
Schizomaniac 24
Hey hey hey whoa whoa whoa. Horrible first impression. Let's try again. Hi Ignorance, I'm Schitzomaniac :D
The_Creeper_fml 8
So you live in Texas?
Freeze_fml 17
It's true.
SeanFredrick 3
Any sane human being might take a bite out of a cookie they made BEFORE handing it out like they're something to be proud of so yes, the op deserves it, and yes, you are an idiot.
Schizomaniac 24
Oh, right. How could I have been so stupid. CLEARLY, whether or not you take a bite out of a cookie before you give it to someone defines your sanity. Thanks for pointing that out. And if this comment shows up in a random spot, which it probably will because I'm an idiot, deal with it.
SeanFredrick 3
Yes, you're insane if you make tasty treats and don't eat them. WTF is wrong with you?!
polopony 0
Schitzomaniac - you're just feeding the trolls, not to be confused with trollz, which is entirely different
SeanFredrick 3
I'm not a troll, I just like cookies.
KelceyLoves 0
.. I live in Texas.
KelceyLoves 0
Mmm.. Cookies.
justsayfuck 5
And now you have the cookies all for yourself :D
jnjones04 0
;)
ThatMichaelKid7 0
Tell her she's not your step mom anymore.
WTF_FML_FTW 0
she was trying to poison her
WTF_FML_FTW 0
ughh help mee...**** you
WTF_FML_FTW 0
k bye bitch