Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML
Today, I attended my best friend's wedding. Instead of throwing her bouquet, she turned around and handed it to me. I was the only single lady out of 150 guests. FML
Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML
Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML
Today, I sent a guy in my English class a rose. He's kind of an outcast, so I though it would be a nice gesture. I asked him later how his day was going and he said, "Good. I got a rose this morning, but I could tell it was from a guy. The handwriting was awful." FML
Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML
Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML
Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML
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Top comments
kayykatastrophii 0
My theory, like others have said, is that he wanted to be polite, and since he didn't know you, and didn't know if you were single or not, opted to give you one rather than asking you if you were single. Usually that's not something a priest would ask, and sounds more like someone wanting to date you would ask. Besides, if you're new he wants to be friendly and nice. And on that note, ignore #4. Church is wonderful.
atomicbaboon 0
51, I believe the hell 46 is referring to is church.
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Comments (44)
bobdole 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
he was probably joking. but it's still funny.
greenman_fml 0
Priests have the power to speak to God so God tells him who's single and who's not. Or you have the unfortunate appearance of someone who is destined to be single. I can't decide.
ThePersonWhoComm 0
greenman posts so many comments like this ?
suxs4ulol 22
nope. sometimes he againzt masterbating and sometimes he thinks preggo threesomes r hot.
Arbosis 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Today's lesson: Never go to church.
BeeHappy_fml 0
fail no that was not today's lesson. good luck in hell
azn_pridee69 0
^ this
LolAtYourFail 12
46, what hell?
atomicbaboon 0
51, I believe the hell 46 is referring to is church.
PR_babee 0
church is amazing. period. that pastor or whatever was probably just confused. you can't judge one church & say all churches are the same, because they aren't.
lil_ham1644 29
That is a really insulting thing to do for a church. They should either give a rose to everyone or to no one regardless of marital status. What about single guys who want to feel appreciated? What about married women or men who aren't appreciated by their spouse?
wakaflocka447 6
That is bad advice!
Hannah_fml 0
eh better to err on the side of caution, was probably his thoughts.
karnoff 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you posted this shit on a tuesday, who the **** goes to church on tuesday and saturday was Vday....your ****** retarded.
casanova_fml 0
I don't know about the rest of you...but I go to church to meet the women. Catholic girls are such ***** its amazing. There is nothing more sexy than screwing a girl in the confessional....you get you sinning, your confessing, and she gets to do plenty of talking to god...all at once!
zachattack 0
#11 religious girls are ******* stupid though, that's the annoying part.
Hannah_fml 0
#10- these don't get automatically posted. they're moderated first.
casanova_fml 0
#13 oh, of course the majority are. but theres a great thing about the catholics... complete repression and huge loads of guilt and rebellion. you use em, lose them, thank the lord for the pussy he has given you, and then move on to another. eventually you can grow up and find an intelligent woman who will be way more awesome than any ****...but she will be some serious work.
karnoff 0
then shes kinda slow cause about 90 vday ones were posted on vday....either way, slow and retarded. and a dumb church.