Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML
Today, I kindly asked my irate mother to respect my boundaries and to find other outlets for her frustration. Instead of responding AT ALL to what I had asked, she yelled at me for an hour about a completely unrelated political documentary she'd seen on YouTube, and then didn't apologize for her outburst. Typical. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML
Today, my wife got mad at me for buying Raisin Bran without almonds. I offered to add confectionery sliced almonds, which we already had at home. Her response, “That’s not the same thing.” It is exactly the same thing. FML
Today, I finally got to a point where I could ask my mother about how enthusiastically she used to beat me. First sentence out of her mouth was, "It didn't change your behaviour, but it did make me feel better." FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
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Top comments
then000bster 16
If you're going to be nuts, might as well be nuts for nuts.
DocBastard 40
Why the argument? Are you both completely insane? Who the hell would argue about that? What the **** is wrong with you two? Everyone knows cashew butter is the best.
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Comments (64)
emxy92 22
Look on the bright side OP at least you're not allergic to nuts.
shaytards_fml 9
I dont get how people fight with their mother. I just can't
JMichael 26
Have you never fought with your mom?
Kibaruto 33
Nothing like a motherly beat-down to keep up family values.
Wakachulak 22
Would you like to switch moms and find out? Seriously, would you?
psycheiris13 20
Honestly people are so judgmental because they've never been in the situation. Try dealing with OPs mom and I'm sure you'd have a harder time with it then her. Somebody who is that argumentative is bound to push some buttons.
Retrokitty 9
Well I'm glad your moms not annoying but mine is. We don't fight as much now that I don't live there though.
ashalayx 13
FaMiLy.
JMichael 26
Just tell her Nutella is better. She'll have to shut up and agree with you.
Nilorak 24
It drives me nuts.
worldclassrager 41
which one won?
jwb8711 13
Get her laid.
tfriend3 15
That sounds like a pretty annoying mother. I'd avoid getting into debates with her till she can accept my opinion.
perdix 31
You took peanut butter, right, FTW? Almond butter is for pretentious foodie hipster assholes who like to pay double for thinks that taste worse. If she doesn't accept the truth, you need to ****-punch your mom.
TallMist 32
You realize different people have different tastes, right? You may not like almond butter, but that doesn't mean no one does. Some people may actually prefer the taste of almonds over peanuts. I'm not one of those people, don't get me wrong. Peanut butter all the way! But if you don't like something, don't assume that everyone who does like it is a hipster.
TwistedCherub1 15
OP, were all your "conversations" something vs. something else? Because that sounds more like a day of debates, which often get people heated. I mean, if every conversation was you telling her something you like is better than whatever she was talking about, I can see why she got moody. Just playing devil's advocate.
murdersquirrel 15
I agree. If she was responding the same way (hussy fits) maybe OP could've tried to approach conversation differently. If she truly nit-picks everything, the thing not to do is give her stupid crap to flip out about. Unfortunately sometimes someone's reactions to things aren't just their own doing. Did OP at no point ask mom what was up with her attitude? Social cues are pretty valuable if ya actually pick up on them.
Norvi 26
If OP is a teenager and was out shopping with her mom, this could make sense. Moms don't like it when you question everything they choose to buy or even have an opinion on how they run their homes.
sanecatlady 13
People argue over the stupidest things. When we were younger my brother and I once had a long debate over the true gender of Big Bird. (I know Big Bird is a boy and my brother typically refused to admit I was right)
psycheiris13 20
Well he is transgender.