Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML
Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I'm on a camping trip, and despite the lovely weather, I'm wearing long clothing so the mosquitoes can’t sting me. Unfortunately, nobody seems to have told THEM that. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a park, I bent to examine a mosquito bite I had. As I looked up, I noticed a nearby couple staring and whispering in abject horror before calling their kids over to get bug-sprayed, pointing me out. Terrified, they immediately complied. It’s not even my worst bite. FML
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
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Top comments
eagleriverjohn 24
Have you tried investing in citronella or deet?
RichardPencil 32
DEET yer meat! Sure, it renders your steak foul-tasting and poisonous, but the t-shirts and bumper stickers with the slogan are hilarious!
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Comments (17)
nihilistcactus 6
sorry they were bugging you..
Ciara Koch 22
That sounds traumatizing fyl
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Bloody hell, that sucks!
pikapix 22
Eh, more protein.