Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
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Top comments
UnicornsDoExist 0
since when do snores sound like moans of pleasure?
amberbby69 6
If he actually stopped you in the middle, then that means you were just bad, period.
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Comments (85)
Erindub 0
How do you not realize the difference?
XxPLAYMAKERxX 0
YDI cuz you suck at sucking....yeah I know that was lame
sweatnut 0
you should of slipped a few fingers up his date.
jamjenni2774 0
U Need the Manual "Sex For Dummies"
musicislife1995_fml 0
@ jamjenni2774 stop trying to be funny... OP, how does snoring sound like pleasure moans? are they the noises you make or is your boyfriend sexual in his sleep?
Bertha5 0
ouch. ur boring.
allen20 0
You give such boring orals then xD
nessalujin 0
Wow, this is fake but if it REALLY happened you need to practice giving head. How you practice is how you perform.
MellyMoo 0
wow what a dick move! :S
DynamicDave 11
If you weren't looking into his eyes during, you weren't doing it right. Then again, how can someone fail hard enough to actually fall asleep while getting a *******? It couldn't have been THAT boring...