Today, the first thing I noticed about my blind date was the clump of nose hairs sticking out and mingling with his beard. In an effort to not stare, I periodically glanced away. After a while, he asked which guy I was into at the table next to us, because I was spending so much time looking in that direction. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML
Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
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Top comments
Twisted_Killjoy 23
Hopefully you mean mustache and not beard... Otherwise that would be quite a sight!
queenariii 22
Poor guy. He probably just thought you were being nosey.
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Comments (29)
Welshite 40
Jokes on you, OP. That's his superpower. You were on a date with Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo.
TheGreastest 24
What?
burgermike92 17
It's a manga series about a dude with nose hair superpowers.
chucknorrisjr123 5
that show was my childhood
Twisted_Killjoy 23
Hopefully you mean mustache and not beard... Otherwise that would be quite a sight!
Noelletakumi 36
Maybe she meant he had a goatee. Hair all around
queenariii 22
Poor guy. He probably just thought you were being nosey.
brownapple 22
Wouldn't be a nice sight when he has a sneeze attack.
honestjane 22
He'd probably look like a party favor.
yerawizardlizzy 27
I'm hoping you mean he had a moustache as part of his facial hair and the nose hair was mingling with that. Because when people say beard, I automatically think of hair along the jaw, sometimes without a moustache.
Tripartita 45
So you're not even in a relationship, and he's already asking about other people you're eyeing? Sounds like a keeper. Bonus points to him if he argued over who should pay and talked about the redecorating he's done to his bedroom/mom's basement.
DeathBunny218 37
So if you're on a date with someone and they're checking other people out all the time you wouldn't bring it up? Sure they can check other people out if they want, but doing it on a date would be pretty inconsiderate.
socialproduct 19
I'd probably bring it up. If my date was staring at something all night I wouldn't pretend that it's not happening. If OP "periodically glanced away" to the exact same focal point for the entire evening it probably sparked a reasonable curiosity.
Tripartita 45
Fair points, guys. Yeah, I'd probably mention something if it seemed my date was consistently looking in one direction or avoiding eye contact. I probably wouldn't jump right to "which dude are you checking out?" but I'd bring it up.
izzajaneful 24
Something like, what's so interesting over there? or a variant.
thatweirdasian 22
I'm wondering if you meant his mustache instead of beard. Still...interesting. Did you guys go on a second date?
thatweirdasian 22
I'm wondering if you meant his mustache instead of beard. Still...interesting. Did you guys go on a second date?
trucker2 33
You should blatantly ask him about his French tickler
Halfass 8
He nose what's up.