Today, the first thing I noticed about my blind date was the clump of nose hairs sticking out and mingling with his beard. In an effort to not stare, I periodically glanced away. After a while, he asked which guy I was into at the table next to us, because I was spending so much time looking in that direction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML
Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
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Top comments
Twisted_Killjoy 23
Hopefully you mean mustache and not beard... Otherwise that would be quite a sight!
queenariii 22
Poor guy. He probably just thought you were being nosey.
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Comments (29)
shanson 22
He sounds like a jerk
waleedma 18
Staring at the guy who doesn't have nose hair... Hint hint!!!
PhoenixChick 26
You could have looked into his eyes instead, unless his eyelashes were mingling with his nose hair.
kristinjeaneen 21
I'm a pretty blunt person and when he asked who you're checking out, I'd probably mention his nose hair issue. It's a miracle I managed to get a boyfriend and keep him for so long. Probably because he keeps his nose hairs trimmed so I don't have to awkwardly bring it up.
Fenbrae 17
Sounds like Beardfacé from Scrubs has an enstranged brother named Nosehaír.
C8H18 33
Hmm. Sounds like somebody is shallow.
C8H18 33
Nobody is perfect OP. At least he wasn't a dick about any imperfections he saw on you.
jriley4u 17
But he was. He pointed out what he thought she was doing in a nasty way.
manuwish 9
nobody nose what OP really wants, not even herself because: she goes on blind dates