Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML
Today, my son got his furniture delivered: one massive, super comfy armchair for him, followed by the lowest, most angular, most uncomfortable sofa I’ve ever sat on. Turns out he did this on purpose so that guests can’t get comfy and are compelled to leave as quickly as possible. Introverted tool. FML
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Today, the couch I ordered finally arrived. It was a long search and a little expensive but worth it for the extra comfort. It is perfect, except for the fact that it doesn't fit thought the staircase of my building. Now it's standing in the hallway because they won't take it back. FML
Today, my $1300 mattress that I bought for my new home was delivered. To my old house. FML
Today, my son got the last of his furniture delivered and finally moved into his first house. This boy has exactly one chair, a massive armchair pointed at the TV. When I asked him where the hell visitors are supposed to sit, he said that visitors generally won’t be welcome, even me. FML
Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped two of the cushions. FML
Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML
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Top comments
jw90 18
Well now you know. And you can send it back to get a new one.
SansVostro 7
Did they sell it as used or new?
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Comments (94)
jw90 18
Well now you know. And you can send it back to get a new one.
wlddog 14
I can just see it now. A young couple are walking through a furniture store and are dreaming about their future together. Suddenly they find they have wandered into the couch section and no one is around. Like any closet exhibitionist, they get excited about the idea of possibly getting caught together. She gives him a wink and a budge and the guy instantly throws his shirt across the store. She blushes as she finds a good couch in the corner and the guy is still fighting to get his pants off. Naked, he jumps from couch to couch to tackle the love of his life. Like any good performer he takes extra strides to show off, and that is when the mistake happens. Tripping on the overly fluffy arm rest, his traction is lost and he comes crashing down. His bloody nose gets on half the couch and his love screams at the thought of the broken man before her. In a panic they rush after his clothes and streak out the back of the store. The sales rep that had been innocently been taking her break in the room was still in shock. She burst out laughing and due to her weak bladder she accidentally pee'd a little as she struggled to breath. The couch she sat on was later sold and no one noticed the stain. And now you know,,,, The REST of the story.
soccerstar1996 18
OP here, well I called the guy I bought it from and he said he'd refund me all the money I paid for it. So I guess it's no problem. Still a little awkward though...
SansVostro 7
Did they sell it as used or new?
Ambient25 25
None of the above. Pretty sure it was listed as "Casting Couch"
Ambient25 25
I think 90% of the guys on FML will get the reference
lilhellian 27
90% is a bit low, try 99.9999999% :)
bluehero 17
Lmao I am a guy and I don't understand what casting couch means. Sorry to let you all down.
Ambient25 25
GTS: Google That Shit (you'll realize you grew up knowing it all along)
AshaaFerreira 22
I'm a girl and I got that! ;)
lilhellian 27
47 Did you find out before or after the interview?
Ambient25 25
#51 the only response I can think of is from Friday.... "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN" ;)
KB616 11
Let me spell it out for you: casting couch for ****.
bluehero 17
Yeah after I thought about it for a while I kind of found out what It could've possibly meant. I apologized for my own stupidity and inability to get **** related jokes lol
paincil 10
#43 : You are the 0.0000001% of the guys who don't understand the reference
bluehero 17
I understand it now. Didn't know all guys had to be always in the **** mindset to be considered normal.
nicolemadden 11
@bluehero Let the wankers speak ;)
holly_fly 34
I'm a girl and I got it XD
mikepzz 27
Well that's just lovely
golden_warrior 23
It's quite the contrary my friend. Also, don't get an exchange. Get your money back because you cannot trust a company that will do that .
SamanthaCassieL 10
That's a bit gross... I would definitely call the company back ASAP and explain it to them. The sooner you do it the better... That way they can't say you did something about it. And if its a reputable company then they will replace it.
JACKxRAWR 22
OP probably bought it on Craigslist or something though. No professional company would sell a semen-stained sofa.
Dracoboxer357 36
Now that's just nasty. Get on the horn, time to push for a full refund or replacement. :p
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Your son has common sense, and knows how to use it, don't fault that
mcleod 17
Send that nasty back!
OwlPrincess28 7
That is disgusting! I would call up the company & complain. If you bought it "brand new" then this is a real bummer. Sorry O.P
Jaxx66 21
That's absolutely disgusting! At least your son was around to point it out, now you can grab your phone and work on getting an actual new couch! When mine was delivered, they had to take it out of the plastic, and new suede smells divine! All materials have a 'new' smell. :) keep your nose alert for it! There is a huge difference between the sprays that smell new and actual new. Most times you can smell the propellant used to get the smell from the can.
laughmaster 9
Well be thankful he noticed it, imagine you drop dry food on your couch like chips or somethin and you pick it up and eat it... That's disgusting