Today, my son got his furniture delivered: one massive, super comfy armchair for him, followed by the lowest, most angular, most uncomfortable sofa I’ve ever sat on. Turns out he did this on purpose so that guests can’t get comfy and are compelled to leave as quickly as possible. Introverted tool. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son got the last of his furniture delivered and finally moved into his first house. This boy has exactly one chair, a massive armchair pointed at the TV. When I asked him where the hell visitors are supposed to sit, he said that visitors generally won’t be welcome, even me. FML
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
Today, trying to be nice, I replaced my husband's old falling apart arm chair with a new one, same brand, same material, same colour, except this one also reclines, has a built in reading light and a USB port to charge his iPad. He prefers his old one and has been in a mood all evening. FML
Today, the couch I ordered finally arrived. It was a long search and a little expensive but worth it for the extra comfort. It is perfect, except for the fact that it doesn't fit thought the staircase of my building. Now it's standing in the hallway because they won't take it back. FML
Today, I got up early to wait for my new sofa to be delivered. I spent yesterday taking apart and getting rid of my old crappy sofa. At midday, the furniture shop said they'd cancelled my order due to not having enough of that model in stock. Even if I re-order a sofa now, it's 2 weeks until they can deliver. FML
Today, my husband moved all the furniture a few inches to the left because he saw online that it makes moving around the house really difficult, and he wanted to test it out. Unfortunately, the one who tested it out was me; I got home, went to sit down, and broke 2 toes on the coffee table. FML
Today, my grade school son's teacher came over for a conference. When she sat on our one seater sofa, the upholstery broke, causing her to sink deeper back. My son desperately tried to pull her up and out, while saying to her, "Teacher, NO!!! You have to have a butt as big as my mom's to safely sit in THAT chair!" FML
Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
Today, in response to the guy whose son told him to fuck off for disturbing his one day off a week, my son spent literally his entire savings account for a deposit on a shitbox one bedroom house because he’s sick of his dad finding him things to do every ten minutes, and I don’t even blame him. FML
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Top comments
Petit Etre Malfaisant 23
he is a genius
d j mom 9
his home his prerogative. if he wants to visit, he'll come to you. good on him for creating his own boundaries.
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Comments (7)
mike3775 39
So your son wants to be alone, that doesn’t make him a tool. The only tool I see is OP. Honestly, I can see why your son wouldn’t want to to stay
Lost Reggie 22
Take the hint
Petit Etre Malfaisant 23
he is a genius
poopface82 25
What, no “I WANT GRANDBABIES!!!”? Usually these kinds of rants end with the parents bitching about their kids not wanting to date, get married or pass on their parents’ genetic legacies like they’re the goddamn Hapsburg or some shit.
d j mom 9
his home his prerogative. if he wants to visit, he'll come to you. good on him for creating his own boundaries.
Hangryko 32
Yeah, he bought that for you.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Today you learned that chairs can be used to send messages. In this instance the message is "get the **** out" and you should heed it.