Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML
Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML
Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
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Top comments
hekinokuroihi 20
Well, now you have to follow through. There is no other course of action.
SilverFoxx 19
Well, that ducking sucks.
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Comments (40)
hekinokuroihi 20
Well, now you have to follow through. There is no other course of action.
WavRace 14
Auto correct knew exactly what to say
Lalala579121 28
Brazzers.
andrmac 25
Go to the butcher maybe they have some you can crisp up for her.
Sampe101 15
Why is that in your phone? I want to know the story behind that...
ohSNAPyall 27
Probably supposed to be "crispy duck."
TrippingOnAcid 29
In my experience, autocorrect never corrects to bad words. If I spell **** wrong, as I often do, and type "fick" it never corrects me. I can only assume that OP typed duck as **** by accident and that autocorrect didn't correct him. ?
eeeppp 13
Well damn... Awks
RHChiliPeppers 17
Awks? AWKS?!
_Adog2645 24
What are you even trying to say?
SilverFoxx 19
Well, that ducking sucks.
extrasnipes 22
Stop that was horrible go to he'll
gotaplanstan 28
he'll be coming round the mountain?
jgriff79 23
I feel sorry for your husband's manhood!
fariss 14
Did she says whether she wants a large set or a small one?
PumaGator 18
My question is what was that replacing in the first place?
Popeye2341 13
He probably meant to say crispy dick Duck*
SecundusSecunda 27
Welcome to Le Telepathé!
thathobothere 17
"I hope your enjoy your DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKS, madam!"
Kazucchi 6
I love this website. These comment replies are why.
EwahWeeWah 21
I see no problem with this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
freddygasman 18
Being a man, I do. The easiest way to get something crispy is to fry it, and that is one area that you don't want anywhere near that much heat.
EvilLittleMan 23
Sorry OP but that's a dick move on autocorrect's part.