Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML
Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML
Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
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Top comments
hekinokuroihi 20
Well, now you have to follow through. There is no other course of action.
SilverFoxx 19
Well, that ducking sucks.
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Comments (40)
Mudhound123 6
This is why you should read your text before you send it.
Emzinatorbot 26
To be fair what was "crispy dick" supposed to be?
Mynamewontfi 40
Crispy duck, most likely.
moodyreallyrocks 27
Let's just hope that you didn't suffer from 'alligator arm's' as well!!
Patriots21 14
Common, too soon...
lumene 17
is that alongside, or instead of spotted dick?
andy594328 17
I hear that's a delicacy in some countries.
freddygasman 18
in some countries it's an appraiser, while in others it would be a main course.
rockeditionbarbi 14
Sounds.......yummy? Ha. Hopefully she saw the funny side!
edris_305 21
Well time to deep fry that d*ck
loki0101 2
Bon appetit. Also, auto-correct is more pain than it is world.
bellydancer82 15
Does it come with extra special sauce?
laden_swallow09 35
If your dick is crispy, you'll definitely want to see a doctor. Like, now.