Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML
Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML
Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
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Top comments
hekinokuroihi 20
Well, now you have to follow through. There is no other course of action.
SilverFoxx 19
Well, that ducking sucks.
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Comments (40)
sunyaph 23
?
Nikkibuh 11
YDI, because you should've turned auto correct off.
8djht8 19
always self spell check everything always pre-read everything period before you post send etc.
evlbb2 2
Well you could make a spotted dick and then made it crispy.
kzinn11 1
Anyone reminded of ellen's segment by this?????
whinersrwieners 7
Dame you autocorrected!
MrZed_fml 11
Mmm sounds tasty
Jonjon554 16
You realize your phone autocorrects to words you use frequently? It wouldn't just autocorrect "dick" by itself.
Charity Taylor 17
Hopefully she had a good sense of humor about it! Sorry OP.
millsjoshua949 12
Thats why I always read a text before I hit send. ydi