earths_venus
Australia
Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Poorman
United Kingdom
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Anonymous
United States
Workplace etiquette
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Anonymous
Cadillac, United States
Suck up
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Chelsea
United States
Goofs and gaffes
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
texasbest
Lindale, United States
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
type quiet
Be quiet
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
brandonborgie
Australia
Dat ass
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Anonymous
Meritocracy is a lie
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Anonymous
United States
Grammar rules, OK!
Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML
David
Australia
Try hard
Today, I confidently told my new coworker, "See you tomorrow!" It’s Friday. Now they think I’m either too eager to please management or I don’t know how days work. FML
Top comments
Lindsaykae 0
kick his ass.
crabgass 3
o.O look him straight in the eye say it was love that killed the beast then run away
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Comments (103)
Lindsaykae 0
kick his ass.
Trupe 3
Or, or, or......you can not call him king kong. **** this Mr. Kong character
selenagirl_fml 0
is he a mental retard? lol
knight0748 5
oh king kong? yea, you gotta bow and pay the man respect.
comedychick 1
'selenagirl' that's nothing to joke about and that guys got mad issues I agree with #1
TurboTalon 0
And then you told him "well I want you to lick deezenuts" right??
JayColt 0
tell him "give me that cwk sawndwhich" then he'll freak out and run away from you at sight. Works everytime.
iRawrrrx33 0
I'd trip him as he walks by.
twinny_sc 13
sooo...where do you work?
Hoogyme 0
maybe you should if he has OCD
zach55 0
20 that's because youre mentally retarded
sixtimessix 0
I'm afraid 13 speaks the truth. don't even test him. just do what he says.
sataris20 5
or you can just put your foot in his ass wear him as a shoe
waterynuggets 0
LMAO #66
F_MLSucks 1
Opposed to a physical retard?
VegasSkiess 0
-20 until u or ur loved one is diagnosed with it. so no it's not. watch wat u say, fate might just teach u a lesson.
daymann 0
so u can still laugh at it. black people and there voodoo superstition! ^^
epiccarrot 0
just start treating him like a monkey.
xine10 0
f*ck u! stupid jerk
Massdebater 1
draw an epic picture of a huge veiny beast of a man sausage, with added hairy balls, and repeatedly staple it to his forehead......
Izzy_babii 0
hahahahaha
quent10 0
ask him if he knows that king kong died?
crabgass 3
o.O look him straight in the eye say it was love that killed the beast then run away
sourgirl101 29
Close I think it was "beauty" not "love". I could be wrong.
MagicalPegicorn 0
it's beauty.
dudeitsdanny 10
I remember it as love, but I may be wrong.
antbait11 0
King Kong 4D at Universal Studios Hollywood is pretty awesome.. if you're ever there you should check it out
onnielief 4
So say your Godzilla and will kick his ass if doesn't bow down to you. Weird people at work though!
sourgirl101 29
I like your duel fighters. Who will win? Prefer Hulk VS Thing.
sixtimessix 0
pfft hulk vs thing is a joke. the hulk would destroy the thing
NorfolkDude 2
If you're gonna bow, bow low, so when you get back up you can sucker punch him in the nuts.
vanderstoep 0
hahaha lol
StewieBigFan 0
If it was your boss that said that, I'd get it, but if it's just a lowly coworker... grow a pair and tell him to **** off
MizzCaramelle 1
lol fyl why? just don't do it.
elizabeth01 0
What he deserves is a knee to the groin.
kirby1964 20
Try changing the name. Like King Donk or King Jerk Head.
yelwarc 0
good one man ...
CrimsonWolf1294 0
dude, just don't talk...
Tomatobee 4
45 hahahahaha
CrosbyBlows 0
Are you related to George Costanza?