Today, I learned that the $30 plant that I've been tediously tending to and extremely proud of for thriving is actually just a subspecies of ragweed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three weeks after I finally tried my hand at gardening by planting a bunch of herbs and was so proud of my work, I found out that I had actually been watering weeds this whole time. My herbs were actually the things I was trying to eliminate. FML
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML
Today, I spent the afternoon transplanting a whole bunch of corn seedlings that sprouted, even turning over the new soil with compost and fertiliser. While watering them in, I realised they're actually all just weeds. FML
Today, the lawn I've been devoting all my efforts to saving from a nasty grub infestation isn't going to make it, but apparently the grass I noticed growing in my gutters is doing just fine. FML.
Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML
Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML
Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to the flowering plant my passive-aggressive mother gave me for Christmas. I take two different antihistamines daily for my numerous allergies all year round, and my mother knows this is why I don't have house plants. She said, "You better not get rid of it!" I think she hates me. FML
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Today, it's been a week since I bought a "self-watering" plant to make my life easier. Turns out the self-watering feature means the plant waters itself by leaking all over the floor when it's overfilled. Now my apartment is a mini wetland, and my carpet is fucked. FML
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Top comments
bloopaloop 27
We might be related. I too was born with no sense of humor.
bloopaloop 27
Does smoking it help menstrual cramps?
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Comments (3)
Alyxandrea Loffer 13
at least the greenhouse is going to make it right
bloopaloop 27
Does smoking it help menstrual cramps?
Alyxandrea Loffer 13
no it puts you in the hospital with respiratory problems because it isnt pot
bloopaloop 27
We might be related. I too was born with no sense of humor.
Alyxandrea Loffer 13
dad????
Charlie Given 28
🤣🤣😂 that's not rag weed, wait afew months dry& smoke
Alyxandrea Loffer 13
it's not pot. it's kochia weed, a subspecies of ragweed. it does look like marijuana from a distance but no, it is not marijuana. trust me I know what weed looks like