Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML
Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML
Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML
Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. Partially. Since I always locked it up, some asswipe thought it would be funny to steal the handlebar stem and the seat, leaving the actual handlebar dangling by the brake cables. Since there was no way to steer or sit, I had to carry my bike one mile back to my dorm. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
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Top comments
miazangl 13
At least you can get the police involved for theft, public intoxication and property damage so it's not a complete loss.
S0LUS 16
Call the police, no one should do that
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Comments (36)
dietcoke09 25
Out of all states I really wouldn't think this would happen in Wisconsin.. Sorry OP!
worldclassrager 41
No payment on your end it's all on the thief...
beeferjay 34
time to get a gun, if you don't already have one. busting a cap in sometimes ass is sometimes called for... sometimes
shelby_franklin 16
Why do you have a bike in 2015
dabaerju 23
Why do ignorant people like yourself exist in 2015
Mynamewontfi 40
You should come to the Netherlands. Almost everyone owns a bike here and uses them a lot. Why use a car when you can get a nice exercise while going from A to B? And good for the environment as well.
Jwaye2 7
Lots of people have bikes. I have 3 cars and a motorbike I can use but i still ride my pushbike to the local shops and the gym. OP also didnt specify if it was a motorbike or a push bike but everyone is assuming push bike.
Internetflakes 13
#23 which is why the Netherlands barely has polution!
Colon_Man 17
I first read#26 as "barely has population." I thought, "are they riding themselves to death?"
darkenedone 27
how do you know they were drunk?
XxGaLaXy_HiTzxX 14
Because I too occasionally just steal people's bikes and crash them into front porches.
buckdharma 38
He wants to ride your bicycle. He wants to ride it where he likes.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Dude, where's my bike?
JCRouzer29 27
I was kind of hoping there would also be a "On an unrelated note, I also broke my leg in my drunken haze last night".
Potato_Lord 18
Now that's it's been 24 hours the story gets even better. Turns out the man that stole my rode it to a bar where he got drunk and confided in the bartender that he stole my bike. The bartender then made the man cry from guilt and convinced him into returning the bike to me. Aperently somewhere along the bike ride to my house he figured out the best way to do this was to do this was to ride it into my living room and surprise me. No joke that is what he told the police in interigation. But it doesn't stop there. When I called my insurance company to file a claim they thought it was a prank call and hung up on me and none of my calls have gotten through since. This has been an amazing two days.
Colon_Man 17
Good thing here didn't steal your car, then.
laurelfire 15
Well you should have chained the bike, OP!