Anon
United States
Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Parents of the year
Today, I got to experience the rare pleasure of overhearing my divorcing parents admit that neither of them want full custody of me, or even shared custody, and then planning to guilt one of my grandparents into accepting custody instead. God I hate them both. FML
Anonymous
For the kids
Today, I overheard my parents discussing their divorce. Apparently, what they mostly disagree over is that neither of them want custody of me and are considering delaying their divorce until I’m 18, because at least then legally I’m not either of their problem to deal with. FML
Anonymous
United States
Unstable
Today, I won my custody battle. I wish I could be happy about it, but it strained my current marriage so badly that now I'm going through my second divorce. FML
Taylor Easley
United States
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML
omgstfuplz
United States
Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML
rook
United States
Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML
Ineedjustice03
Singapore
Today, I had to dig into my savings to help my parents pay for their divorce. FML
fml
United States
Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML
Anonymous
United States
The Unmatchmaker
Today, my parents found out that I separately convinced them not to get back together, and now they're not speaking to me. FML
Top comments
vaughant 5
That's terrible OP I'm sorry
AngelicTide 11
Sorry OP. it's their lose not yours! Count it as a blessing that you're not stuck with two people not worthy of being your parent.
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Comments (136)
mayyberry 4
Aaaallll byy myyyseeeeelf
The_CL0GGER 0
for a slit second when I read your comment I thought it said 'anal by myself'
reddudeover 2
I guess that's why you're the "clogger" :p
Sw33ttp13 1
39 I did too
my2centsworth 15
I must be a really bad person because that made me laugh.
zine_fml 5
Squishy face :)
darwinism 30
During a conversation with them, let it slip that when they are old, you can only look after one of them, while the other will have to go in the cheapest nursing home you can find. That will let you know which one lives you more (in a hypocritical way). FYL anyways, and good luck with that OP.
Andr913 13
I find your username just perfect for the situation you're describing in a weird way.
alshygirl 14
Survival of the fittest I think? Still that's a stretch
SkyBirdy 5
Didn't Darwinism have something to do with the strongest surviving or something? Like natural selection?
djsammyc 19
how do you just let that slip into convo?what would the topic be that could lead to that?
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's terrible, but it'll make you a stronger person in the long run. Plus you'll know to be good to your children should you ever have any.
zachherbert 10
Fantastic bro.
tony1891 22
when they get old and need your help. nursing home time.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Why do people still make these crappy remarks about "nursing home time"? Most people don't support their parents in their dotage.
Attica 20
Where do YOU live...?
sincerelyjay 13
I'm so sorry OP.Maybe you can confide in a school guidance counselor.
Groaty12 0
Hey u sound really cool reply to me!
micahsmommy 13
I've got a friend looking to adopt. How do you feel about living in Florida?
DeeStylez 0
No. Zombies await for him there.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Sshhh! Don't tell em that!
Anai08 17
You know #32 as someone living in Miami....I have to agree. It's already started, the 'Miami Zombie Incident' was just the first. Zombies now wander the streets, everyone should get out while they still can!
saywhaat12 2
Forever alone
MissAmz 7
I'm so sorry for you. :(
alstbv12 13
Aww I read your bio. Your life must be so tough...everyone be nice.. She still thinks the world is out to get her.