Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML
Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML
Today, my wife and I were born on the same day, married on our birthday date. Today is our birthday and anniversary, and today we are getting divorced. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, my husband served me divorce papers and an order to grant him temporary custody of our kids. Tomorrow is my birthday. FML
Today, I woke up realizing my wife of less than a year of marriage wants a divorce. We have known each other for 15 years. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Tell her to keep the subscription as her wrinkled/dried up ass will have a tougher time finding someone who actually wants to hit that.... without a baseball bat that it.
z4opv14 0
Wow that sucks man, my condolences to you.
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Comments (88)
1000101 1
Damn... subscription to match.com. That's just cold. What ever happened to 'it's not working out' or 'it's not you, it's me'. Now, it's 'here you go... good luck with that'.
ghostmountain 0
That's cold man.
karmaking 0
you have a good wife
My_Little_Pony 0
Hmm...I've heard that eHarmony is better.
ExclamationKate 0
Inappropriate birthday news, FTW.
silentdud 0
At least you can pillage the world of twenty something blond-know-nothings who are looking for older men now. You can get a new car and pick up smoking cigars if you want.
karmaking 0
@#29, he can no grow a beard and pubic hair again too
lambabe11 0
aww im sorry. happy birthday!
sexygirl123 0
omg that sucksssss well she was a douche and now u can sleep with who ever u want!
pommeblossom 0
Aww, sorry man! It's my birthday too! At least you can say you're starting a fresh, new age.