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Mouhahaa France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

180

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

monicadempsy 5

Rule #331 Do not take food from a womans plate.

onlychildFTW 34

Never take food from a woman's plate or anyone's plate without asking. Especially when she's armed!

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Comments (180)

monicadempsy 5

Rule #331 Do not take food from a womans plate.

FMLshark 12

Stealing anyone's fries, man or woman, is asking for a fork to the hand.

lunchladyliz 2

*** rule # 1

Demonfish 14

This man knows^ Seriously, OP, stealing from your wife's plate, you're lucky that it wasn't a knife.

Roevera 14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Dafaq? I'm glad we're all being sarcastic here, but serioisly OP your wife is a bitch!

Zoranius 6

This FML OP did would have been better with "bacon" instead of fries (a)

immaMonsta 8

#39 What was it you were trying to say?

ProhibitionRose 14

34- stealing food off of anyone's plate is freaking rude. It doesn't make her a bitch.

Bobissmall 13

Many things are rude, doesn't mean you should stab them with a fork so they bleed...

yaya1213 6

Well maybe she was on her period...or pregnant

thiscrazything 1

She forked you, and YDI.

chimocho 8

89 maybe if more people stabbed rude food-stealers with forks so they bleed there would be fewer rude food-stealers! OP YDI!

lylotrezor 20

83, only stabbing them with forks does.

cradle6 13

83- Cutting me off in traffic is rude. That doesn't mean it's okay to hunt them down and kill them.

auzz1_pride 9

What ever happened to sharing is caring?

starbucksguy 16

"Touch my food, feel my fork!"

starflyer59 17

34: nobody's being sarcastic :) ever tried it? no? you should >:3

rockwind_ 5

Don't steal from me, idgaf (I Don't Give Away Food)

FlutterShyy 0

Bitches love their fries!

isis_morrigan 18

117-true, but if it were legal, I would have a rocket launcher or some sort of automatic weapon for those situations.

Colonel_Lexi 18

29-If it were chocolate: OP -> (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ (>O[]O')> <-OP's husband

Colonel_Lexi 18

No wait...OP's wife and OP, geez what a fail ._.

monicadempsy 5

28: Rule #1 is Homes before Hoes.

Callmemaybe1234 3

Not all women are like that

LavenderLunacy14 7

Good point there, 117.

Godsofdracos 15

169 it's bros before hoes... And that saying is ridiculous. Like it's expecting you to choose between the girl you want to date/marry or hookup with your so called bro. Just silly.

annie_potter_ 20

Thats what i try to tell my family!

swaggalikethat 22

@39 correction: EVERYTHING is better with bacon

pilusepi 10

YDI, OP, for not slapping that bitch then eating her fries

shudson186 17

#34 Stabbing is necessary when someone wants to take a fry off a plate. Her husband is lucky it wasn't a knife in the heart. Don't be so judgemental about the wife for wanting to protect the things she loves man!

godfathermock 19

#124, sharing is caring...but I don't care. Or in this case, OP's wife didn't care

Mortoli 30

In all honesty I think one hole better than four.... Just my opinion.

RoaRawR 6

"When the hands is over an another man or womans plate it is considerd food like it was on a plate"

Random_panda_ 7

That should be rule #1

miianah1 22

wtf is wrong with you guys? Am I the only one who sees that OP's wife is a psychotic bitch? I'd get her some counseling ASAP.

KyleUnderhill 9

#174 ur right not all women are able to lift their fat arms to stab someone

iMuffinKat 16

Fries are delicious. YDI. Anyone would do the same if you tried to take some of their fries. Go try it.

onlychildFTW 34

Never take food from a woman's plate or anyone's plate without asking. Especially when she's armed!

Mons_fml 27

Especially when shes fat.

ladyLALAA 29

Step off a bitches fries, getting all ghetto. I love this, made my day!

SqueakyChipmunk 22

I hate when women call themselves bitches. >_>

allthatandmore 0

Even if she wasn't fat, she could be skinny as A twig, still... DON'T TAKE A WOMANS FRIES!

ladyLALAA 29

I hate when I don't give a shit about what people hate.

SqueakyChipmunk 22

That's nice. Say, is it hard to breathe with all those thumbs burying you? Or is that your crushed ego?

ladyLALAA 29

My ego has never been better! :)

SqueakyChipmunk 22

That's...actually kinda sad. Goodbye.

epicwaffles 7

THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING

SkoomaKi 28

OF THE END.

SqueakyChipmunk 22

OF THE WORLD.

xITzAusTin 5

AS WE KNOW IT

sirliam99 12

AND I FEEL FINE

NiiTeH 7

Ouch... Plastic forks from now on :)

onlychildFTW 34

This things are sharp too! They can draw blood!

iloveurbumbum 0

A spoon may be a safer choice.

citymayer 7

I had my hand sliced open by a plastic spoon a few years ago. My sister was extra psychotic back then...

MizzErikaHart 8

Watch the movie "murder in the first" It's a true story. In one scene he stabs another inmate in the neck with a spoon

SqueakyChipmunk 22

"Hey Jeff, I'm gonna spoon the hell outta ya!" "Oh, that's nice of you, I get cold at night-- OH GOD, THAT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT YOU MENT AT ALL!"

rummzy 6

Get a spork if you have to compromise =)

rummzy 6

Get a spork if you have to compromise =)

hthelittleone 10

Truuuust me, I was just stabbed with a plastic fork, not even that hard, two days ago. My hand still stings, and there are scabs.

SuperGirlTaDa 15

I don't know whether I should laugh or just be scared..

WiderWille 11

Why would you be scared about OPs wife?

instnt1nfction 17

Be afraid, be very afraid.

MeLuvBewbs 7

It was an Fyl until u took fries from her plate

eddeeezzyy 19

You should see my mom when my dad tries to take food off her plate....like as if world war ******* 3 is about start!

jcp012000 5

Is your mom like 700 lbs?

eddeeezzyy 19

Hah naw, she's in good shape. She just hates it when people try and touch her food, simple as that

KiddNYC1O 22

Like the first 25 minutes of Saving Private Ryan?

linkinpark98 24

You're never supposed to cross the boundary between a human and their fries! D:

Happy_FairyTail 10

It's like trying to separate Starbucks and white girls!

Raooka 6

Imagine if he stabbed her in the hand for taking fries off his plate. It's just food.

peachesncreem 21

I don't think you fully comprehend the FML. He took fries off of his wife's plate! There's an un-spoken rule about that. Gentlemen, please take this FML as a warning. If you decide to repeat OP's foolish act, be prepared to pay the consequences.

downtime 13

12, I'm sure most people would have the common sense to still vote the same way. You do something stupid and get hurt, it doesn't matter if you're male or female, you're going to get the same response. I hope...

GoldenGrizzly 7

The problem with that (and not just about Op's wife) is that some people were raised in a way that makes taking food/sharing food rude or unsanitary. I refuse to share drinks or food (unless I push it onto their plate, they better not stick their hand in my good) because my father was a germaphobe and pretty much convinced us we would get throat cancer and die sharing drinks. It is just something I view as rude. I am also a very picky eater, if I order something it is for me I am not sharing and usually I do not want anything anyone else is having so it wouldn't matter. If you wanted that then you should have ordered it.

people_annoy_me 23

What do you mean...Just food.

iloveursister 4

were they Burger King fries? if so then YDI

zecha_fml 1

We don't have burger king in France... So no.

iloveursister 4

i use the FML app so i dont see the location...or i havent figured out how to