Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Pr0metheus 7
Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically ******** fire in there...
kayleebearr 6
YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .
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Comments (243)
eveadamsnyc 2
I don't get how this is comparable retaliation!!!
missyfiona89 28
You're an asshole, I hope my future husband can take a joke and not act up like a pussy.
GLaDOSv1_09 19
What a rational response. Maybe you can get back at her for being so loud by setting her hair on fire.
chrispasta 3
Hahaha that's horrible and ridiculous! But also just as logical as what he already did to her -_- I don't think I could trust him after that. He physically hurt her because of his ego. As silly as the situation may seem, that's pretty much abuse.
sikmunkee 9
victim of your own creation OP
ipoopinshoes 2
If you're that sensitive about the joke she made then it must be true.
jojimugo 20
Dude i say she got what she deserved ........ Don't start nothing there will be nothing
THE_A_TEEN 28
Soo what you're saying,is that she deserves her ass of a husband to give her laxatives, the same medicine that can hospitalize a person, and making her shit for over an hour, just because of a joke? Go join the Douche club with him.
mintypoison 22
No. Nononononono. There is a special level of hell for people like you. This guy went way too far because of a joke. You know what my boyfriend does when I make fun of him? He gives it right back. He doesn't drug me, and I deserve the jokes back sometimes. You are just as big of an ass as OP...
darkkisses 6
Well OP because of the fact that she was just playing around and teasing is, where as you take it overboard and make her physically ill. I would have to say ydi. Maybe you shouldn't overdue things the next time....
conqueror57 11
All you people continuing to imply his dick is small? You better watch what you eat and drink; this guy is just crazy enough to find you and do the same to you as he did to his wife! And he "loves" her!!
maunaimer 6
You totally crossed the line man, I'm gonna laugh when our next FML is about her getting you back...and you'll deserve that too
Branflakes78 13
She should fire back and drug his ass and bring him into the woods with a pack of wolves and then he would be shitty himself