Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, I found out that my fiancé is going to be deployed on our wedding day. FML
Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
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Top comments
JestrRulz 12
Thank you for your service. What a way to be rewarded. :( Kid isn't yours and apparently neither is the wife. D I V O R C E
s0ulslack 20
She should miss the divorce party then!
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Comments (195)
netdemon 11
Women seem to do this all too often. But sadly so do men. What a terrible backstabbing world we live in
TroopSupporter18 1
No one deserves a cheater especially someone who is willing to risk their life for our country.
acid_moose 7
what a ******* bitch. Your out their risking your life to support and protect her and everyone else in your country, and she can't even wait for you to return before sleeping around. ******* hell, i'm sorry OP. cheaters are ******* scumbags but this instance makes me particularly sick.
Life_sucks_13 6
That's horrible! Your wife is a bitch and you should seriously devorce her!
anarchistpunk 3
Well OP, a cheater is nothing but a hoe, and like Dr. Dre said, "bitchez aint shit".
Caaiittlliinn 5
I'm so sorry, women who do that in general are horrible, but it's even worse when their husbands are risking their lives for our safety.
Tidus0 17
Contraception*
Phyre24 17
Not all soldiers are good people but most of them are. Not all wives are good people but most of them are. Both views here have thier truths and faults so how about everybody finally be quiet and feel bad for OP's case.
dcollin7 2
I'm sorry brother, keep your head up!
megamandude455 10
You have a gun. Kidding btw