Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, I was having a Christmas Eve party and my sewer got backed up. Everyone had to go home and now I have to wait until Monday to get it fixed. It's a 15-minute drive to the local McDonald's to take a crap. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML
Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I'm sure any plumber would love to charge you $200 an hour to fix it the day before Thanksgiving.
killersmoesje 0
poop
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Comments (61)
HesJustTheBest 0
Well, better get started on building an outhouse OP.
whoopyouupsideyo 0
how does a shower get filled up with sludge?
easwhitey 0
Hi my name is Eric and im an addict. More imporant, im a sludge addict
perdix 31
Don't let your guests take a shower! Was that so hard?
KingDingALing 9
It's not sludge. Someone had massive explosive diarrhea and just missed the toilet.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for taking a monster-sized shit and not flushing it in stages instead of all at once, for even owning a toilet or a shower, for having indoor plumbing, and for planning to have guests.
iheartglasses 0
Might want to get to fixing that toilet lol But thats more than obvious
JERZBornNRaised 7
i think you might have more than one toilet, just assuming and if you have one shower uhhh ohhh, your gonna be a dirty dirty girl :D haha, well i must say if a guy has to go to the bathroom its easy, we have these things called penis's and it makes pee'ing very easy! any bush will do or behind a tree.. i must say girls are screwed in this department
jktadych 0
fix it don't complain
JERZBornNRaised 7
i think you might have more than one toilet, just assuming and if you have one shower uhhh ohhh, your gonna be a dirty dirty girl :D haha, well i must say if a guy has to go to the bathroom its easy, we have these things called penis's and it makes pee'ing very easy! any bush will do or behind a tree.. i must say girls are screwed in this department