Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML
Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML
Today, I was told by a doctor that I have a fatal disease, and that I should start making preparations for when I pass away. Then, another doctor showed up, panicking, and said that was meant for someone else with the same first name as me. The mini-heart attack I had at that moment almost killed me anyway. FML
Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML
Today, after months of being told I have pneumonia by different doctors, I decided to go to another hospital with better staff. There I learned that I will actually need to have open heart surgery to replace two valves in my heart. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
It's like I always say, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Then again, hope is not a very good diagnostic or therapeutic tool.
tencentsakiss 19
This sucks, but they have to be honest with you about the risk.
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Comments (93)
carmagnet 11
He is covering his ass so you or your family can't sue him. I know a couple of people that have had bypass operations. They say the recovery was bad because it is so long and boring. But had no complications in surgery. Good luck! I hope everything goes well!
Oley 27
I'm 28 years old & I've had 6 open heart surgeries. I'm still alive. It's not a fully healthy and energy filled life, but it's a life! Good luck! I'm sure everything will be just fine!
eternal_malaise 10
The consultation is worse than the cure.
saraitkddh 47
Good luck, hope it will goes well
Mightytall 35
Wish you all the best! Doctors have to give you the "Cover Your Ass" speech to make you aware of the risks and protect themselves from malpractice suits and other crap. Especially heart surgery is complicated. One of my friends did a year of training at a heart surgeon's and said it is like changing the valve on a running engine... then he went to make giant boobies instead :-)
freckleface221 19
They have to tell you that stuff or they can get in big trouble. When I got my wisdom teeth out I had to watch a video telling me that I could die.
joshgoyke 4
Who ever clicked you deserved it should just gtfo
envyelric 6
That's super professional.
gAt_d 26
My Dad had a quadruple bypass yesterday, yes it was risky but necessary. I'm happy to report he's up and moving a little bit and the surgery went well! I hope that gives you some hope, OP!
Quiet_one 22
My granddad also had a bypass surgery several years ago, and he recovered from it smoothly as well. It's part of the doctor's job to make sure you're well-informed before you agree to any procedures, and there really is no such thing as a "risk-free" surgery. It's scary, but sometimes it's necessary.
Ashtray1 4
Maybe it's time to lay off the cheeseburgers!