Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
Today, as I was sitting on my terrace, I was wearing neither bright colors, nor any perfume, yet two bees seemed convinced that I must've been some type of flower and persistently tried to figure out where I was hiding my nectar. FML
Today, I learned what a "pain in the ass" means. I sat down on my patio swing chair, only to discover it was swarming with baby wasps, who stung me all over the butt. Ouch! FML
Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
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Top comments
scarlett29 0
Ouch... but if its your house how do you not know what kind of bugs there are?
magiczipperman 0
that was smart.
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Comments (79)
magiczipperman 0
that was smart.
justdancebbyx3 7
What are you, three? YDI.
NinjaHarryPotter 0
yay this is my first comment! i want to thank everyone who helped me get this far and thank you all for reading this, my very very first comment on FML!! thank every single one of you!! what an honor! cookies for everyone!!!
J3553ROCKS 0
Yay, Woohoo! Tell someone who cares
lexilovesyou 0
I'll I have to ask is , why?
fmylife0624 4
#45 there's a difference, most MLIAers aren't so...wow. And besides, they have a thing against FML. The only similarity I see is the name 'NinjaHarryPotter', - otherwise, I have yet to see a MLIAer who acts like that. They're usually a nice, witty bunch in a way that's different from FML's witty bunch. Maybe its the nice.
Superkenkun 0
the funny thing is that he is proud of his comment... but that's what the comment is, about his comment with no comment in it. it's a waste of space lol XD
blkwhtrbbt 0
yeh, you'll find that most people who use this site are real assholes. don't worry, you'll get used to it.
shelba97 5
dude no one cares
DenBriZel 31
29- want a gold sticker? No one cares. Don't act like we should be so blessed to be graced with you small annoying presence.
scarlett29 0
Ouch... but if its your house how do you not know what kind of bugs there are?
Casualt1234 0
and she said she used to do it as a kid. sounds like she forgot how to tell the difference between the dragonflies and wasps.
jhon316 0
they probably just showed up like a random nest just spears an you don't know you dumb ass
blaZar 0
stupid ******* bitch
girlygirl_tomboy 0
seems fake to me
Jincos 0
LOL.
Kervik 0
Dragonfly's are carnivorous. :D Damn, I missed first by a few seconds of pissing. >.
kapowi 0
YDI for being an idiot.
Pandasaur 0
Every FML has to start with "Today." This could have happened a while ago.
toink 0
Yay! Here's where I say: Toink!
sublime93 0
Lol @OP YDefinitelyDI
justmyluck1212 0
lol my mum used to do that as a kid
ErinLJ 0
you couldnt tell the difference?
hockeyfml555 0
just cause she was stung doesnt mean she cant type moron