Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a picture with my friend. Her camera can pick out a certain color and only have that color show up in the picture. She chose yellow because of the yellow on my dress. When she showed me the picture, the sash wasn't the only yellow thing; my teeth showed up, too. FML
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Today, there was a 4 year-old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
weinerdog 2
I was afraid you were gonna say he was pointing at an Asian person.
KeithHarris 0
You might need a toothbrush
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
Kickinchicken213 3
BRUSH or WHITEN. Yellow teeth are disgusting.
latuka 0
you know people who smoke and drink loads of coffee have yellow teeth even if they brush their teeth. and as someone said, it could be hereditary. im sure the OP brushes his teeth dont listen to these fools, kids say jackass things, but thats the grand thing about parenting right?
lulu12step 0
awww bonding moment
goliathreceiving 0
This is when you know it's time to stop smoking dude
hcoxo134 0
#7 lmfao
MoonlightSonata 0
Wow, I can't believe this. Only one person (that I noticed) of all posters knew that the colour of teeth can be hereditary. People, it's not about how much you brush your teeth. If you were born with teeth of more yellowish colour than "normal", then that's how it is. For instance, I inherited yellowish teeth from my father who has them, too. I brush my teeth twice every day, thoroughly, and I regularly use floss. I don't smoke, drink coffee or do anything else that makes teeth yellow. I eat healthy food. I do everything that "normal people" do. And yet my teeth are not and will never be naturally as white as someone else's teeth. And to anyone who might suggest whitening to me, I've talked to my dentist about it (she said laser whitening is the kind that would suit my teeth - the usual whitening toothpastes and such don't do a thing for teeth that are naturally yellow), and I've come to the conclusion that since the result is not permanent it's not worth the expensive cost just to be like one of those flawless Barbies for a while. Perhaps the OP is in the similar position as I am, so I find it rather unkind of the majority of the posters to say that the OP is gross and that he doesn't care about hygiene. Don't assume.
username93 0
hahaha #7!
simplewhimsy 0
if you d rink coffee. . .well, only a trip to the dentist will solve that problem! Or try the whitening strips, my mom who is a heavy coffee drinker swears they work.
omgitsseejay 0
kids say the darndest things...
24788 7
Just spend a few bucks on a teeth whitening system.