Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML
Today, my aunt asked to see my new airsoft pistol. Not thinking anything of it, I handed it to her. She shot me in the leg. I was standing next to her. FML
Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML
Today, I was watching my cousin shoot at targets on hay bales with his plastic pellet BB gun. After my sister asked him if it would hurt to be shot with one, my cousin smiled at her and said, "Ask your sister" as he shot me in the leg. I think my screaming was obvious enough. It hurts. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML
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Top comments
rocketgurl 15
Your sister has some serious issues. Hope things work out okay OP.
cutycat136 28
Next time she decides to pick up the gun, start recording and show it to your parents next time she tries to pull something like that so you have proof she knows how to use it.
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Comments (126)
zergy55 7
is your dog okay?
interesting33 37
That is really psychotic - was it an accident that she shot the dog? Even if it was she still did it and blamed you, but if it was on purpose - then I think she really needs help.
interesting33 37
Your poor dog, living with someone who shot him/her
Metthew 15
I hope your parents took the gun away, irregardless of who they believe to have done it. I'm really sorry about what happened to your dog, and I'm really sorry that you're stuck with that sister. You can never pick them yourself...
flyingmind_fml 17
kick her ass and pretend to be insane
flyingmind_fml 17
kick her ass and pretend to be insane
killigan 12
Wow wish I had your will power not to retaliate... I would of shot her with the airsoft gun and my excuse (to my parents) would of been: "if I'm going to be accused of shooting a bitch, then I might as well do the crime"
laden_swallow09 35
Time to cap her with it before kicking her to the curb! If you're gonna get in trouble for shooting your own dog, may as well pop off a few on the biggest dog – your soon-to-be ex. Yes, that was a lame attempt at calling her a bitch.
ziggysmommy201 10
It's his sister, not his girlfriend.
Bigfabthetruth52 22
Sounds like your Elijah Wood she's the girl version of Matthew McConaughey in the good child.
sicksadworld1317 30
You're thinking of Macaulay Culkin in The Good Son.
Bigfabthetruth52 22
oh yeah it was the good son mybad
amccaul1976 8
film everything. oh and shoot her with the air soft.