Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML
Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML
Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML
Today, I arranged a date with a girl online I really get along with, because frankly we both have a filthy sense of humour and love sexting. At the date, it turns out she’s deaf, which is not a problem, but she brought her sister as an interpreter. Without our usual conversation, it was just painfully awkward. FML
Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a "damn fine ass." I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML
Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML
Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML
Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML
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Top comments
felixvdl 9
Sisters...... You gotta love em.
FracturedMinds 21
"So he didn't have to read lips." My guess is OP can read them too.
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Comments (89)
lil_freakin_les 8
What if you guys started dating...
roosterocle 2
Can deaf people smell fear?
katejones 8
I can think of a few signs for your sister. sorry OP! I don't even know any deaf people, but even I can finger spell just in case.
ChildrenOfFilth 12
Well if she's going to be like that, you should just take her bf. You two would be better for each other anyways by the sound of it.
alanharvey15 13
just think at least she learning sign language which then she may use to talk to you
Joshkl2013 12
She couldn't hear you asking.
orsombre_fml 11
Her loss. Her boyfriend will be very surprised that she never learned sign language for you. Mark my words, OP, it'll give him something to think about!
RachaelAnna92 3
wow your sister is a bitch. just saying
lumpyspacequeen 11
Why not sign to your sister about what a bitch she is?
VivaB 9
That's ****** up