Today, my sister convinced my girlfriend that I cheated on her. All because I took the first slice of her birthday cake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML
Intervention
Today, my sister got in a screaming argument with my girlfriend, who then dumped me. My whole family started celebrating. Apparently, they staged the argument to get rid of her because no one liked her, and I should be grateful they did me such a big favor. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Scheming
Today, I was supposed to get married. Instead, my sister made up a story about me cheating on my fiancé at the bachelorette party. He bought it and dumped me, despite there being no evidence of this. Turns out it was all a plan because they were secretly seeing each other for months. FML
Alexa, play "All You Need Is Hate" by The Delgados
Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML
Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML
Never get involved
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML
Top comments
fumanshu 9
You took the first piece of cake of someone else's birthday cake?!?!
weird_adult 27
Priorities, your sister has them.
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Comments (72)
weird_adult 27
Priorities, your sister has them.
Welshite 40
So she wants to have her cake and eat it too.
TheKishwan 16
Should've threw that piece of cake in your sisters face
NotGabe 28
*thrown Also, no. That's a waste of precious cake.
fumanshu 9
You took the first piece of cake of someone else's birthday cake?!?!
nix1993 41
Is that actually a thing that matters for some people? I don't think i've ever cared or even noticed what order my slice of Birthday cake was cut in. I'm usually just hoping my nephew didn't spit all over it when he helped me blow out the candles.
tigerisabelle 31
It's just usually a tradition that the birthday persons cuts the cake and has the first slice. Definitely not a big enough offense to break up a relationship, but annoying nevertheless.
AcieMcG 21
I would have flipped my lid as well. It's the one day my 5 friends I have left post HBD on my Facebook lol
revolvearoundme 15
I personally probably wouldn't care but unless she hands it to you that was a total dick move so I really can't feel bad for OP. The birthday cake belongs to the birthday person and they share it with you.
DoomedGemini 38
Have to agree, big dick move op. Not enough to warrant what she did, of course, but still pretty selfish.
chosha_fml 27
#4 Definitely not okay, but the punishment didn't fit the crime.
whysojealous 18
Eh? Usually, where I live, the birthday person cuts the cake and hands it out to everyone so the birthday person gets the last slice
nix1993 41
Same here... In our family, and at every Birthday party i've been to the birthday boy/girl cuts the cake (sometimes with parental help) and then passes it round, except me because nobody really trusts me with knives. Severed fingers tend to ruin Birthday cake. But either way, cake is cake, it's gonna taste the same no matter when it was cut so it seems awfully petty to even care who gets the first slice, let alone seek retribution because it wasn't you.
Vlen_fml 20
the first piece isn't that big a deal honestly, but then again in my family it usually goes like this: everybody else gets some (equaling about half a cake) and the rest is the solely the birthday person's to enjoy for a couple days and only shares if they want to.
megs925 16
Either your girlfriend is very gullible, or your sister should consider becoming a lawyer if she's not already.
Zebediabolical 45
It's easy to break people up. It's all about planting that seed of doubt. And having answers for questions that are plausible on their own. Slip'em the hook with the little lie, and you'd be amazed what kind of whoppers people will swallow. "He said he was at the mall, but I swear I heard a car horn. He must have lied." That kinda circumstancial shit adds up. When in actual fact he was probably walking through the mall parking lot to get into the mall. Or walking past one of those coin-op car rides.
annalily5 28
Cheating is also a pretty easy thing to convince people of, as it becomes extremely "he said, she said." OP's sister only needs to say that she saw OP cheating at some time when OP had actually been hanging out alone. Naturally OP will deny it, but what cheater doesn't deny cheating? Unless OP is constantly surrounded by people who can vouch for him, he's got no real proof he didn't cheat. And if the gf asked why OP's sister made it all up, the reason "I ate the first piece of her cake." sounds like a pretty lame excuse.
samwilliams800 28
Your sister is a bitch, your girlfriend is stupid and you're an asshole.
doodlebug33 20
Never take the first slice unless it's your birthday. Still your sister was wrong
Frid_Kun 7
She was wrong by being too merciful.
0262944 15
Tbh, I probably would have done the same thing. YDI for taking the first slice of someone else's BIRTHDAY cake
countryb_cth 38
Yes because that clearly warrants the sister to break up a relationship.
queerdragon 20
It's not like Op destroyed the whole cake or ate it before anyone else got a chance. Yes, it's nice to let the birthday person eat first, but damn... breaking up a relationship over cake is crazy.
pleasedie 22
"Today, my brother ate the first slice of MY birthday cake. FML........ But don't worry. I'm already plotting revenge. "
Zebediabolical 45
"Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. I wish his sister had told me before I gave her the expensive present I got her. FML."
wolf12king 12
As much as that is God awful you probably should have had an idea of what your sister is capable of. Assume that no matter how trivial she will do her worse.