GonnaLockUpMySpices
San Francisco, United States
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
KindaLooksLikeCocaine
San Francisco, United States
Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
funnymanjoe
United States
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Nathanael Johnson
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Confused
Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML
holyshart
United States
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Anonymous
Saint-hubert, Canada
Good tasting
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
wreckdit
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United States
'Ello 'ello 'ello
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
mario
Corvallis, United States
Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML
Annomymous
Clarkston, United States
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Anonymous
United States
Gotcha good
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Top comments
gunzerker 8
your spice cabinet is locked?
zombiekiller52 24
Was he high when he did this?
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Comments (83)
Handsome_Jack2 10
The spice must flow!
Birdclawz 17
Nutmeg will **** you up really hard in the exchange for destroying your body.
watermelon_bae 15
Buy a lock, or two.
DEATHLORD_fml 16
You sure it's nutmeg?
suppppppppppppp 6
He'sgoing to regret it.
bnbhimp 10
Herbalife is for resl
darkmatternat 1
That really works? The things people do make me lose faith in humanity.
PimpNasty0327 2
PLEASE PLEASE explain to me why the hell he had to "BREAK IN" to your spice cabinet? Do you have like a $750 jar of oregano? Or did you go into the ocean and harvest your own sea salt? None of this makes sense ?? good try though
blostrich_ 19
That is so ridiculous that people would go to those extents just to get high. -_-
Dominus101 20
Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures for your Junkie roommate FYL OP