Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML
Today, after having to move home with my parents because I'm broke and can't seem to find a job, my mom found out I'm on anti-depressants. She and my dad will no longer be helping with money because she doesn't like "drugs". FML
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Top comments
Daonna 9
She has quite the testy attitude.
foxwasalamb 24
jealousy maybe?
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Comments (65)
Meowdisen 15
Sounds like my grandmother. She thinks incense sticks is weed and freaks the heck out. Thinks people are always doing drugs.
twicht_de 10
OP, you have to see her comment in the right cultural and educational context. You're in America... therfore she's probably right... ?
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Well they sell drug tests at the dollar store so your screwed
jayeterror775 18
Those don't work. I used to smoke pot, and my mom always tried to drug test me with those, and she was never able to get a positive reading. It was always funny as hell. But eventually I grew up and got off the drugs.
Jenmic 16
Sounds like my aunt. In her eyes sobriety is being angry and miserable.
VeganDarkLight 31
**** your mom's life for obviously never having had fun. But **** yours as well for having such a psyhotic mom, your wording makes it seem as if it's not the first time she freaked out like that :/
Sakuraashita 15
Sounds like somebody's jealous her son knows how to have a good time...
Militaryman1 4
well is it drugs?
tenderchicken 7
Shove weed up her corn hole while asking "ARE YOU HAPPY YET?!?"
Dragun32 1
My step mom was the same way, though she just straight kicked me out
aladeen_fml 5
My mother is the same way, I know that feel op